Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

Okay, you wanted more from the Wicca book. Yes you did. Yes you did. Well, one of you did. So here is a little more for your Friday entertainment.

Part of the paradigm shift frequently required of many people who become Wiccan is to take it for granted that ghosts, spirits, and psychic abilities exist, that they frequently are a normal part of everyday life, and that the skills associated with these phenomena are controllable, usable, and subject to development and improvement…Remember that at one time both flight and the ability of a human being to breathe while moving at speeds greater than thirty miles an hour were commonly declared impossible.

Ah yes. Do remember that, and then draw the appropriate conclusion. Good idea. And let’s not stop there, shall we? No. Let’s see. At one time the ability of a human being to go from Akron, Ohio to Alpha Centauri in .3 second by taking thought was commonly declared impossible (people talked of nothing else for awhile). Therefore, ghosts exist and are a normal part of everyday life. Yup – that follows all right. Thus we see what belief in Wicca does to people’s ability to think straight. (No, I know – correlation not causation – it could well be that our authors were bat-loony from infancy and that’s why they were drawn to Wicca. But still. If they make a virtue and a practice of this kind of ‘thinking’ it’s hard to believe that doesn’t affect their ratiocinative powers a little.)

When something happens that looks, feels, sounds, or smells ‘funny,’ don’t just automatically dismiss it. Acknowledging unusual phenomena will help you become psychically aware. Allow yourself to explore the possibility that it is a ‘supernatural’ event. Once you have recognized one psychic event, it is easier to recognize another. As you recognize more and more impossible psychic events (no matter what they are), your Conscious Mind will begin to believe and then know that these impossible events are real.

Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that just brilliant?

[pause to mop eyes and generally calm down]

Oh, gawd. Where to begin. The looks feels sounds or smells ‘funny’ would be one place. Dang, these people must be busy! I mean…I see stuff that looks funny all the time; doesn’t everyone? My face in the mirror when I accidentally get a glimpse of it, that neighbour, that other neighbour, that person whose trousers end six inches above her shoes, that ridiculous ‘nativity’ scene outside that church – they all look funny. And as for sounding and smelling – ! Dogs smell funny, garbage smells funny, that guy smells funny – what doesn’t smell funny?! And I sound funny whenever I shriek with laughter while reading Wicca book. But we’re supposed to explore the possibility that all these things are supernatural events – and then after that we’re supposed to move with no transition at all (and apparently without deciding to reject the possibility after exploring it) to ‘recognizing’ that ‘unusual phenomena’ (i.e. anything that looks or smells funny) are indeed psychic events. Well, that’s easy.

And then, as the authors sagely point out, once you’ve done that once, it’s easier to do it another time, and as you do that more and more, why, your Conscious Mind starts to believe absolutely anything and everything is supernatural and psychic and an impossible event that is nevertheless real – and you have become a raving imbecile. Congratulations.

There are risks though. In their usual caring, careful, concerned way, the authors give due warning.

Sometimes when people start picking up on large amounts of psychic information they can become overloaded with the data.

Yes, I bet they can. I was just commenting on that myself. Their lives must just become one big whirl of incoming psychic events.

This is one reason for the ‘Psychic War Syndrome’ experienced by many newly aware people. This syndrome can occur when someone who is newly psychically awake misinterprets anything (and frequently everything) [what did I tell you? {ed.}] that they now pick up as a ‘psychic attack.’ There are such things as psychic attack and psychic war that can occur when someone is either praying or casting spells against someone else…Once you open yourself up psychically, you will open yourself up to bad things, but once you’ve experienced it, you won’t have too much trouble distinguishing a ‘psychic vampire’ from a ‘faery.’

Ah. Won’t I. Well that is reassuring.

It’s the same thing I noted last time. First, put the dangerous bait out there, then, give a warning of the danger. Draw a pentagram, then say don’t use it or the debbil will gitcha. Tell people to ‘recognize’ psychic events whenever something smells funny, then warn of data overload and psychic attack panic and general freakout and mental meltdown. They don’t always give the warning though. They don’t first say ‘be credulous and believe everything you can possibly believe’ and then follow up with the warning ‘this procedure is pretty much guaranteed to turn you into an idiot.’ Caveat emptor, I guess.

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