A little light reading.
From Mark Caldwell, A Short History of Rudeness (Picador, 1999):
But perhaps the deepest and stubbornest wounds to civility are those inflicted using race and gender as weapons…
In 1996, Karen Grigsby Bates and Karen Elyse Hudson published Basic Black: Home Training for Modern Times, an etiquette manual aimed at the emerging black middle class…Yet they also concede that painful throwback situations may still arise where racism survives, either in full-blown or vestigial form – and offer advice about what to do, for instance, if someone tells racist jokes, suggests a colleague would haver have been hired but for affirmative action, or behaves in any other way that suggests a continuing belief in some false or hurtful stereotype. [pp 168-9, emphasis added]
Then they all go out for a beer.