Remember, it’s all about you

Glosswitch has an amusing satirical post purporting to be a speech by the CEO of Sexism Inc at the end of their AGM.

The market has seen some tough times lately, what with the resurgence of interest in feminism since its early noughties slump. There was a time, two or three years ago, when some of you expressed concerns that we might not get through it. Certainly there was a need for some restructuring but, while we were all sad to see Mr Clarkson and Mr Buchanan go, I know that they, too, saw the need for sexism to move with the times.

It’s important for any organisation, even one that doesn’t prioritise the subjugation of half the human race, to stay nimble and flexible. That’s why in May this year I was absolutely delighted to announce the acquisition of Libfem Corp and its subsidiaries, Everyday Feminism, Amnesty and NUS Women. While these will now operate as part of Sexism Inc family, they will retain their unique brand identities, finding new ways to market objectification and sexual exploitation to women without recourse to the more “traditional” messaging favoured by our more established brands.

Haw!

It’s Patriarchy 2.0, you see.

Now, the material exploitation of female bodies is available on a pay-as-you-go basis. Want sex? You’ll be doing sex workers a favour. Want to father some kids? Take your pick from a wide range of overseas surrogates. Need your kids to be white? Buy the eggs elsewhere. The key word here is choice. Choice and self-validation. Remember, it’s all about you.

The operating system used by Patriarchy 2.0 is Queer Theory. It did require some tweaks from the original version presented by Ms Butler – Ms Serano did some sterling work on this – but I think we’ve found something every modern-day patriarch should like. The fundamentals of sex-based exploitation are still in place – we all know the anatomy of the people who’ll be doing most of the world’s unpaid work – but our special override function renders them indescribable. It’s ingenious (any problems with the online version can be dealt with by pressing caps lock and typing TERF).

That part isn’t really satirical, it’s just straightforward description.

One Response to “Remember, it’s all about you”