Guest post: Remake Rambo. Remake Commando. Remake Star Wars, Star Trek, and Star Rambo.

Guest post by Pieter Droogendijk

I have a rage. I’m not linking to anything, because the articles in question don’t deserve even one additional hit. But here’s the thing; there’s apparently an uproar on the internet about Rogue One, Star Wars, Ghost Busters, Mad Max, and a bunch of other crap. Here’s my take:

MORE FEMALE LEADS!

If it were up to me, every movie would have a lady protagonist. I don’t care if it “makes sense for the story;” it’s a story. Make it make sense. We have some catching up to do; men have led movies since the first one.

Remake Rambo. Remake Commando. Remake Star Wars, Star Trek, and Star Rambo. Remake everything, whatever you want, and put women in it. Especially whatever’s hot in popular culture.

And don’t give me that fucking “wah wah feminist SJW” crap. Guess what, half the population is female. Just because they’re drowned out by entitled angry men doesn’t invalidate their voices. GET OVER YOURSELF, you entitled howling shit-donkeys.

Here’s the lesson: 30-and-40-something male Ghost Busters, Mad Max and Star Wars fans, the world is no longer about you. The people who grew up with this shit have daughters now.

As far as I’m concerned, Fury Road wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue with a Furiosa costume.

The 2016 Ghostbusters wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue who’s wearing a Ghost Busters outfit.

The new Star Wars wasn’t made for you. It was made for that girl in the queue who’s dressed up as Rey.

As for modern Star Trek fans, those new movies are terrible. J. J. Abrams, put some Wars magic in that Trek.

I’ll be screaming for the next Fury Road, the next Black Widow, the next Star Wars, the next Jessica Jones, a female Doctor Who, everything. Here’s to every future gender- and sex-positive movie, remake, reboot, sequel or whatever.

Here’s to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and to Brent Spiner in the new Independence Day, too.

And if you think it’s bad that a brand you liked as a kid wasn’t made just for you, go re-evaluate your life.

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