Rebounding or bouncing works very well


A site called “healthy holistic living” asks us when we last “drained our lymph fluids.” You what now? That would be never, and who the fuck says we should?

A guy called Paul Fassa says so.

Your body’s lymph system is the sewage system for even normal metabolic toxins, and more so if there are health issues. Lymph nodes provide antigens for purifying fluids containing anything from allergens to cancer cells. That fluid is simply called lymph. There is more lymph in your body than blood, but unlike blood, there is no pump for lymph.

If lymph doesn’t move out of small lymph nodes through their ducts into the kidneys and liver, it backs up like a clogged sewer line. Lymph nodes can become infected and you wind up with the misnomer of “swollen glands.”

Lymph nodes are not glands, but the accumulation of contaminated lymph fluids leads to all sorts of health complications, some serious.

Hmmmmmm. What does that sound like? Oh yes, like bullshit.

Obviously, anyone who eats and drinks processed food and sodas or alcohol while leading a sedentary lifestyle is stuck with a compromised immune system from clogged lymph fluid toxins that need to be drained and eliminated through the kidneys. But the sedentary lifestyle can be a killer for even those who eat healthy!

Obviously? Obvious to whom?

So, how do you go about “draining” this “accumulation of contaminated lymph fluids”?

You bounce.

Rebounding or bouncing works very well for moving lymph fluid enough for the kidneys and other bodily organs to purify it. A mini-trampoline bouncer can be purchased for around 50 US dollars, more or less. It is like a mini-trampoline, around four feet in diameter.

It’s close to the ground, so all you do is step up and bounce up and down for 10 to 15 minutes, indoors or outdoors.

You don’t even have to leap high enough to clear the spring-bound mat, and you can hold onto something nearby to stabilize yourself if there are balancing issues.

And if you do fall off and crack your skull, well, your now immaculate “lymph fluids” will fix that in no time.

Each time you bounce you increase the gravitational pull on your lymph. You’re getting low level “Gs”or increased gravitational pulls similar to what you feel from sudden changes of vehicular speed and direction or crazy carnival motion rides.

With intense walking or even gentle rebounding, the “G’s” are in vertical alignment with your body and its lymph system.

If you enjoy the more difficult task of jumping rope exercises or more strenuous activity such as half-court basket ball, tennis, or racquetball, there you go, moving your lymph node fluids enough to facilitate toxin elimination. Any athletic activity that requires jumping and/or running is great.

I hit the Google to learn more about this health crisis and learned that the more usual fix is massage. I also learned that even Andrew Weil calls bullshit on the claim that all couch tubers need lymph drainage.

Dr. Weil believes that lymphatic massage is a worthwhile treatment for lymphedema, but he emphasizes that individuals who do not have lymphedema do not need lymphatic drainage, no matter what health claims are made for it. He notes that some internet sites warn of the health consequences of “sluggish lymphatic flow” and promote lymphatic drainage for all manner of supposed benefits ranging from detoxification of the body, regeneration of burned, injured or wrinkled tissue, anti-aging effects, and relief of sinusitis, bronchitis, ear infections, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, constipation, insomnia, memory loss, cellulite, and obesity. He also says he has seen lymphatic drainage promoted as a beauty treatment. However, Dr. Weil has not seen good evidence supporting any of these effects of manual lymphatic drainage. Dr. Weil emphasizes that manual lymphatic drainage is not a necessity for general health and explains that lymph fluid circulates as result of muscular contraction, including the muscles used during normal physical activity. As long as long as your lymphatic tissues or lymph nodes have not been damaged or removed, Dr. Weil maintains that that there is no need to worry about lymphatic flow and drainage.

Cancel that trampoline purchase.

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