The mix of condescension and entitlement is stunning

Via Facebook, a takedown of David Brooks’s patronizing advice to Clinton, by someone who wants to remain anonymous.

Brooks:

If you interpret your life as a battlefield, then you will want to maintain control at all times. You will hoard access. You will refuse to have press conferences. You will close yourself off to those who can help.

If you treat the world as a friendly and hopeful place, as a web of relationships, you’ll look for the good news in people and not the bad. You’ll be willing to relinquish control, and in surrender you’ll actually gain more strength as people trust in your candor and come alongside.

Response by anonymous genius:

Her political life IS a battlefield, you oblivious, sanctimonious, selectively amnesiac, self-pleasuring shitgoblin. She’s running against Donald Trump and his brigade of white nationalists while Republicans are already laying plans to impeach her, the press salivates for the one Clinton scoop that will bring her down (there will ALWAYS be more probing, more invading, more accusing), and people with zero idea of her record or accomplishments shout “Lock her up,” “Trump the bitch,” “Hang her,” and “Kill her.”

Yes, it’s the perfect time to prioritize “grace,” relinquish control and surrender to the goodwill of the populace, who only want the best for her. Why so serious, Hillary? SMILE!

There’s a subtle but raging cruelty embedded in opinions like these. They’re not only ignorant of the real experiences of ambitious, revolutionary women — they’re ignorant of their own ignorance, unaware of their hypocrisy in recommending empathy while practicing none. In Brooks’ formulation, her secrecy is the result of being a paranoid, distrustful shrew who just needs to relax, let down her hair, leave her door unlocked and trust that everyone wishes her well, rather than a sensible, seasoned professional who’s been a target for over a third of her life and knows her enemies better than they know themselves. The mix of condescension (“Let me help you, honey”) and entitlement (“We’ve shit all over you and demonized you for 25 years, why won’t you get vulnerable with us? “) is stunning. It’s an argument I’ve seen a thousand times — the world would be nicer to women if only women were nicer back.

And there’s an implication here that’s even more insidious: the instinct to survive and thrive on one’s own terms is less important than the obligation to please. It’s more important to make David Brooks feel good about you than it is to campaign effectively and win. It’s more important to make him feel good than for YOU to feel good.

Smile!

Actually, if you’re a man reading this, do not ever make a clown of yourself by instructing women that the world is safer, fuzzier, and more welcoming than they think it is, that their fears are silly or that they have an overactive imagination. And I say this as a woman who is brave as hell, tough as hell, has done considerable work to overcome her fears, and is, despite everything, an optimist. If you make light of women’s anxieties about their place in the world, if you talk more on this topic than you listen, you’re advertising your ignorance. If you feel yourself about to do it, put something in your mouth.

How pleasant for David Brooks that his positive, sunny approach to life yields positive results. Maybe he should retire from writing editorials and try running for office.

I’ll just repeat one favorite bit for emphasis:

In Brooks’ formulation, her secrecy is the result of being a paranoid, distrustful shrew who just needs to relax, let down her hair, leave her door unlocked and trust that everyone wishes her well, rather than a sensible, seasoned professional who’s been a target for over a third of her life and knows her enemies better than they know themselves. The mix of condescension (“Let me help you, honey”) and entitlement (“We’ve shit all over you and demonized you for 25 years, why won’t you get vulnerable with us? “) is stunning. It’s an argument I’ve seen a thousand times — the world would be nicer to women if only women were nicer back.

Nailed it.

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