He no longer has to be politically correct

A sweet little boy-meets-girl story out of Connecticut.

A local Republican politician in Connecticut was arrested for allegedly pinching a female employee’s genitals, reports the Westport Daily Voice.

Christopher von Keyserling, 71, was arrested Wednesday in Greenwich Town Hall and charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor. He was released on a $2,500 bond and given a court date of Jan. 25.

It was last month. The woman encountered von Keyserling in a hall.

The two had a brief political argument, in which von Keyserling remarked, “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct.”

When the woman tried to walk away, von Keyserling allegedly reached from behind to place his hand between her legs and pinched her in the groin. He said “it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you,” the woman claimed.

There he is, no longer having to be politically correct. It’s so horrifyingly politically correct to refrain from grabbing women by the pussy, isn’t it?

His lawyer told Greenwich Time the charges were the result of a “jocular” moment with a woman.

“In almost 30 years of practicing law in this town, I would say Mr. von Keyserling is the one person I would never suspect of having any inappropriate sexual predilections,” the lawyer, Phil Russell, said. “There was a playful gesture, in front of witnesses. It was too trivial to be considered anything of significance. To call it a sexual assault is not based in reality.”

Sure. Women are just furniture, after all. They walk around and talk, but that’s only because somebody programmed them. They have no actual minds, no actual thoughts and plans and intentions.

Police said surveillance recordings from the day of the incident are consistent with the woman’s claims.

Well they’re just being politically correct.

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