How not to write a speech for Trump to read
We should not have to hear Donald Trump talking like this:
Hundreds of our fellow citizens are now mourning the sudden loss of a loved one, a parent, a child, a brother or sister. We cannot fathom their pain, we cannot imagine their loss. To the families of the victims, we are praying for you and we are here for you. And we ask God to help see you through this very dark period.
Scripture teaches us the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. We seek comfort in those words, for we know that God lives in the hearts of those who grieve. To the wounded who are now recovering in hospitals, we are praying for your full and speedy recovery, and pledge to you our support from this day forward.
We all know he doesn’t believe a word of that, and it sounds ridiculous read by the guy we’ve heard bragging about grabbing them by the pussy.
In memory of the fallen, I have directed that our great flag be flown at half-staff. I will be visiting Las Vegas on Wednesday to meet with law enforcement, first responders, and the families of the victims. In moments of tragedy and horror, America comes together as one. And it always has.
We call upon the bonds that unite us, our faith, our family, and our shared values. We call upon the bonds of citizenship, the ties of community, and the comfort of our common humanity. Our unity cannot be shattered by evil, our bonds cannot be broken by violence, and though we feel such great anger, at the senseless murder of our fellow citizens, it is our love that defines us today. And always will. Forever.
That, from him, is completely disgusting. He doesn’t get to babble about bonds that unite us and how our unity cannot be shattered and the love that defines us when picking fights is his favorite activity and he’s constantly boiling over with hatred.
In times such as these, I know we are searching for some kind of meaning in the chaos, some kind of light in the darkness. The answers do not come easy. But we can take solace knowing that even the darkest space can be brightened by a single light and even the most terrible despair can be illuminated by a single ray of hope.
Jezus – that is some bad speechwriting. His speeches should fit him; they should be plausible. They should be written in such a way that they sound like him. That passage obviously sounds nothing like Donald Trump. It’s way way way too elevated and full of deepities for a Trump to read aloud.
Melania and I are praying for every American who has been hurt, wounded or lost the ones they loved so dearly in this terrible, terrible attack. We pray for the entire nation to find unity and peace, and we pray for the day when evil is banished and the innocent are safe from hatred and from fear.
May God bless the souls of the lives that are lost, may God give us the grace of healing and may God provide the grieving families with strength to carry on. Thank you. God bless America. Thank you.
Phony as a 3-dollar bill.
Meanwhile Sanders is prating on about this not being the time to talk about gun control. That sounds more like Trump. Or, maybe what would sound more like him is noting one of his properties in Las Vegas, how glad he is this was not his building, but if it had been his building, they probably could have done more damage because it’s the tallest building in Las Vegas. Then we’d know it was really Trump saying it.
I’m not so sure. I think the events in Las Vegas may have made a believer out of Trump. I can easily imagine him lifting his hands toward heaven, squinting into the rising sun (where he vaguely imagines God to be hiding), and praying, “Thank you, God, for sending something to push those fucking Puerto Ricans off the front pages! I always knew you had my back — how could you not!? — but this time you really kicked through for me.”
I see your point.
That speech was written by people who have watched far too many (i.e. more than one) cliche-ridden disaster movies with U.S. Presidents giving laughably emotional speeches, such as Bill Pullman’s President Whitmore in Independence Day (“We will not go quietly into the night..”).
In fact, I’d hazard a guess that Trump himself, who famously wanted his team to be people who looked like tv and movie politicians, told his writers to ‘make it like in the magic moving picture shows’.
The funny thing is, if he had half the delivery talent of Pullman rather than a quarter that of an average seven year-old, he might at least be given credit for showing emotion. But, no, it was his usual stumbling, bumbling, finger-pinch-point-make fist-pull a face, rinse and repeat performance that only fools the ones who want to be fooled.