One of the better headlines:

UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin in Truro milkshake melee

Not a Truro milkshake melee!? The horror.

Two protesters have thrown milkshake at UKIP European election candidate Carl Benjamin at a rally.

Mr Benjamin was holding a gathering on Lemon Quay in Truro, Cornwall, with British activist Milo Yiannopoulos.

It is understood a man and a woman tried to target Mr Benjamin with the milkshake but missed.

So not really much of a melee then. Fortunately, by way of consolation, the Beeb provided a photo of blobs of what could be bird shit or puke or melting snow or a vanilla milkshake, helpfully captioned “Milkshake could be seen on the ground after the incident.”

It gets better though.

A Devon and Cornwall Police spokesperson said: “A milkshake was reportedly thrown over a member of the public by a man wearing black clothing and a white mask.

“Police carried out inquiries but the ‘victim’ did not make themselves known to officers.

“No official complaint has been received.”

A female protester was also prevented from throwing kippers at Mr Benjamin.

Try a handful of kedgeree next time.