Flying while self-involved

Spare a thought for the flying trans people.

Flying while transgender — a term that increasingly includes not just those who are male or female but also those who identify as both or neither, like me — is undeniably improving.

So transgender means being the sex opposite the one “assigned at birth” and being neither sex and being both sexes. So it’s entirely incoherent. Could its real meaning be just “more special than you”?

Anyway, at least the flying part is improving. Because? Airlines no longer give pink drinks to women and blue drinks to men? But they’ve never done that. It’s hard to see what difference it could make.

Last month, United Airlines expanded its gender options: Passengers can select male, female, undisclosed or unspecified, and can choose the honorific “Mx.” “Fly how you identify,” the airline touted in its feel-good tweet — and American Airlines, Southwest Airlines, Delta Air Lines and Alaska Airlines quickly promised they’d make similar changes.

Ahhh, I see, it’s purely symbolic. You don’t get called by your name, let alone by Ms or Mx. It doesn’t happen. You’re packed in like sardines, they give you some coffee or gin and maybe a little packet of peanuts, they let you leave the sardine tin at the end. End of story.

But never mind that, the point is that “Mx” in blinking golden letters over your seat row isn’t good enough, because screening.

My hair is clipped to a fade. My shoulders have started to thicken from barbell presses. Even without a binder, my chest is flat. I am often called “sir,” particularly in airports, particularly when I wear the men’s blazer that I have learned differs in some inscrutably minute way from all the other men’s blazers I wear, and makes people read me differently.

But I am more often called “ma’am.” I have a soft jawline and curved hips. Which button had they pressed this time? And what had then caused the agent to reclassify me, rethink me, re-sort me into the other category? The other category — when neither category actually fits?

Etc etc etc fucking etc; me me me me me what I’m like me me me me. How about if we threw out “trans” altogether and just went with “narcissist”? Would be quicker.

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