Guard my beer

Why not shepherds? Priests? Angels?

America’s newest branch of the military is about to celebrate the end of its first year, and now members of the Space Force will have something to call each other.

Vice President Mike Pence announced on Friday that members will be called “guardians.”

On the one hand it sounds a bit fascist, and on the other hand it sounds soppy. We’re not orphans, we don’t need “guardians.”

“It is my honor on behalf of the president of the United States to announce that henceforth the men and women of the United States Space Force will be known as guardians,” Pence told an audience at the White House. “Soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines and guardians will be defending our nation for generations to come.”

See it doesn’t fit. The other four are simple, descriptive, direct. (“Airmen” obviously needs work but at least it’s not fanciful.) “Guardians” is marketing-speak, it’s a public relations word, it’s touchy-feely, it’s soppy.

No, that doesn’t apply to the newspaper of the same name, because it used to have Manchester in front, which is the opposite of soppy.

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