His final days were harder, scarier and lonelier than necessary

A son’s obituary:

Dr. Marvin James Farr, 81, of Scott City, Kansas, passed away Dec. 1, 2020, in isolation at Park Lane Nursing Home. He was preceded in death by more than 260,000 Americans infected with covid-19. He died in a room not his own, being cared for by people dressed in confusing and frightening ways. He died with covid-19, and his final days were harder, scarier and lonelier than necessary. He was not surrounded by friends and family.

Marvin was born May 23, 1939 to Jim and Dorothy Farr of Modoc, Kan. He was born into an America recovering from the Great Depression and about to face World War 2, times of loss and sacrifice difficult for most of us to imagine. Americans would be asked to ration essential supplies and send their children around the world to fight and die in wars of unfathomable destruction. He died in a world where many of his fellow Americans refuse to wear a piece of cloth on their face to protect one another.

Marvin was a farmer and a veterinarian. He graduated from Kansas State University in 1968. His careers filled his life with an understanding of the science of life: how to nurture it, how to sustain it, and the myriad ways that life can go wrong. As a young man he debated between studying mortuary or veterinary science. He chose life over death. The science that guided his professional life has been disparaged and abandoned by so many of the same people who depended on his knowledge to care for their animals and to raise their food.

Marvin was a religious man. He was a lay reader at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church. He saw no conflict between the science of his professional life and the belief of his personal life, each enriched the other. From religion, he especially drew on lessons of forgiveness and care. Perhaps the most important comes from the Lord’s Prayer:

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us;

He would look after those who had harmed him the deepest, a sentiment echoed by the healthcare workers struggling to do their jobs as their own communities turn against them or make their jobs harder.

This has received a lot of press and social media attention. Courtney Farr (the son who wrote the obituary) has public posts on the subject on Facebook – you don’t have to be on Facebook to read them.

H/t Rob

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