Chastisement

Sep 2nd, 2016 12:16 pm | By

A new horror in the murder of Samia Shahid: she was raped before being murdered.

A British woman who died in Pakistan in a so-called honour killing was raped before her death, the officer in charge of the investigation has said.

Samia Shahid, 28, from Bradford, died in July in northern Punjab.

The Pakistani chief investigator also told the BBC Ms Shahid’s father and former husband carried out her murder.

He added he was seeking to have her mother and sister returned to Pakistan to be questioned about their role in the murder.

She never wanted to marry him in the first place. She was forced to marry him. She left him, and divorced, and married someone she did want to marry. For that he first raped her and then killed her.

The depth of hatred just never ceases to amaze me.



Exhibition Road

Sep 2nd, 2016 11:04 am | By

A friend went to the Science Museum – you know, the prototype one, the original one, the one in South Kensington. The friend took pictures of an exhibit. I got permission to share them. They’re from a Wellcome Trust exhibition, Who Am I?

“Who am I?” is a somewhat odd question for a science museum. Science can tell us what we are but not really who. Who questions are conceptual rather than scientific.

“Gender identity” isn’t a scientific term. It’s political. It’s maybe literary, maybe philosophical; it’s conceptual…but it’s not scientific.

“Identity” too is not scientific. “Feeling” male or female is not scientific.

Not science.



Nothing but a whitewash

Sep 2nd, 2016 9:50 am | By

A press release from Maryam and One Law for All:

Dear Mona Siddqui

RE: Independent Review into Sharia Law

Thank you for your invitation to give evidence to  the Sharia review.

We will not be able to accept your invitation. We are boycotting the review because of its limited terms of reference; the panel makeup (including yourself – a theologian – as chair and a former Judge who is a member of the Christian Lawyers Fellowship); imams as ‘advisors’; and your labelling the legitimate concerns of women’s rights campaigners and organisations as ‘arrogant’. The above confirm our fears that the review will be nothing but a whitewash aimed at further legitimising parallel legal systems at the expense of women’s rights.

Our concerns have been clearly laid out in an open letter to the then Home Secretary signed by nearly 200 prominent women’s rights campaigners and organisations to which we have yet to receive a response.

As mentioned in the open letter, minority women deserve an independent, impartial, judge-led inquiry centred on human rights and not theology. Theologians and those invested in augmenting religion’s role in the law cannot impartially investigate a system from which they benefit. As testimonies gathered from women reveals, religion in the law is discriminatory particularly against women. Any review that does not look into the full extent of rights violations of Sharia bodies from a human rights perspective cannot be considered a legitimate review nor taken seriously.

Sincerely

Maryam Namazie, Spokesperson, One Law for All

Gina Khan, Spokesperson, One Law for All

BM Box 2387, London WC1N 3XX, UK

tel: +44 (0) 7719166731

email: onelawforall@gmail.com

web: http://www.onelawforall.org.uk/

It’s horrifying that this is going ahead.



México jamás pagaría por un muro

Sep 1st, 2016 4:53 pm | By

Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto isn’t helping Trump with his story about that pesky wall and who is picking up the tab for it. Trump says they didn’t talk about paying the bill, but Peña Nieto says they did.

“Who pays for the wall? We didn’t discuss,” Trump had said when asked by a reporter during a news conference following their meeting in Mexico City. “We did discuss the wall. We didn’t discuss payment of the wall. That’ll be for a later date.”
But Peña Nieto later claimed the two had discussed the wall and who would pay for it — and he had “made it clear” to Trump it wouldn’t be Mexico.

https://twitter.com/EPN/status/771118159654891520

So that’s embarrassing.

In subsequent interviews in Mexico, Peña Nieto reiterated his version of events. He told CNN affiliate Televisa in an interview late Wednesday some of the positions Trump has taken “are a threat to Mexico.”

He also told the outlet he was very clear with Trump about the subject of a wall at the border and insisted Mexico would not pay for it and he made Trump aware that the people of Mexico had been “very insulted.”

A triumph of diplomacy, in short.

He tweeted it again today.

So Trump has been lying again – and doing it very ineptly and in the open. Why wouldn’t we want someone like that as president?!

Trump’s claim that they didn’t discuss who would pay for the wall — despite his call for Mexico to finance it being a central theme of his campaign and one he frequently uses to fire up his supporters — appeared to be a noteworthy omission from Wednesday’s conversation when he mentioned it at their joint appearance.

The cost is one that Peña Nieto has previously refused to shoulder, just one of many issues where the two men have clashed. Peña Nieto, who has previously compared Trump to Adolf Hitler, greeted him courteously and said he was committed to working with whomever Americans elect as their next president in November.

But turning the tables on Trump, he gave the billionaire an earful on trade, said illegal immigration from Mexico to the US peaked years ago and complained of the torrent of guns that he said crossed the border and worsened Mexico’s drug wars.

Wait wait wait wait – that can’t be right. The US can’t be any kind of problem for Mexico – that would be a violation of nature.



Guest post: Imagine that women are people

Sep 1st, 2016 1:29 pm | By

Originally a comment by Maureen Brian on Approaching a woman in a confident, easy going way.

As Samantha says, listen to women.

Do you go up to men reading and demand that they talk to you, that they flirt with you even? Do you go up to men out jogging and demand that they converse with you on the basis of no known common interest? Do you get all het up and defensive when you try to start a conversation and the man walks away? Probably not but the way you are addressing this issue suggests that you might just be daft enough.

When women are interested in making new friends and acquaintances they put themselves into social situations where casual conversation is easy – a bar, a hobby club, something like that – but no-one is under any obligation to begin or to continue any particular conversation, to stay while the other person bores them to death or to agree to see them privately.

You, though, seem to be trying to put some random woman into a position where she is obliged to put your sexual curiosity ahead of all other considerations. It’s not on!

As for “faint heart never won fair lady” do you even know where that notion comes from? Think France in the fourteen century and the cultural aberration which produced the troubadours. Sure, that produced some middling poetry and some slightly better songs but it was a game played by the elite and was almost entirely played in people’s heads. It involved men getting or pretending to get a crush on a woman of high social status and drooling poetically all over her, knowing that she had the clout to get him beaten up, locked up or disappeared if he went too far. It was a game of “how far dare I go” and does not translate to the New York subway or wherever in the twenty-first century.

There is another way of going about this if you’d be interested. Imagine that women are people. They are on the way to, say, an interview or having a last read of their brief before they appear in court. Or they might just be trying to pick up the bread and milk on the way home to feed the kids. It doesn’t matter. No matter how superficially you may be attracted to someone at first glance she owes you nothing. Stop trying to remake the world so that she does. Stop trying to convince us? yourself? that women like it. We don’t. And look out for all those signals which say, before you open your mouth, I do not wish to speak to you.

If you can understand a clenched fist coming towards you then you can understand earbuds or hunched shoulders, a refusal to make eye contact. If you try.



All five restrictions disproportionately affected African Americans

Sep 1st, 2016 12:42 pm | By

A bad thing didn’t happen:

A deadlocked Supreme Court on Wednesday refused to revive parts of a restrictive North Carolina voting law that a federal appeals court had struck down as an unconstitutional effort to “target African Americans with almost surgical precision.”

The court was divided 4 to 4, with the court’s more conservative members voting to revive parts of the law.

That includes Clarence Thomas, of course – voting to weaken the Voting Rights Act.

North Carolina’s law, which imposed an array of voting restrictions, including new voter identification requirements, was enacted by the state’s Republican-controlled legislature in 2013. It was part of a wave of voting restrictions enacted after a 5-to-4 Supreme Court decision that effectively struck down a central part of the federal Voting Rights Act, weakening federal oversight of voting rights.

So that states could claw back a little racism in their voting laws.

Civil rights groups joined with the Obama administration in filing suit against the law, arguing that, several parts of the law violated the Constitution and what remained of the Voting Rights Act. A trial judge rejected those claims in April, but in July a three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, in Richmond, Va., disagreed.

The appeals court ruling struck down five parts of the law: its voter ID requirements, a rollback of early voting to 10 days from 17, an elimination of same-day registration and of preregistration of some teenagers, and its ban on counting votes cast in the wrong precinct.

The court found that all five restrictions “disproportionately affected African Americans.” The law’s voter identification provision, for instance, “retained only those types of photo ID disproportionately held by whites and excluded those disproportionately held by African Americans.”

This was so, the court said, even though the state had “failed to identify even a single individual who has ever been charged with committing in-person voter fraud in North Carolina.” But it did find that there is evidence of fraud in absentee voting by mail, a method used disproportionately by white voters. But the Legislature exempted absentee voting from the photo ID requirement.

But we were assured it was all about preventing voter fraud. Assured.



Just casually knock on the helmet again

Sep 1st, 2016 11:21 am | By

More good advice for men who want to intrude on women:

THE cold vastness of space is a surprisingly good place to pull because female astronauts get very lonely and horny.

Here’s how to approach a lady spaceman as she is orbiting the Earth:

– When you meet a female astronaut out in the Earth’s orbit, the first thing you should do is casually knock on the helmet and introduce yourself.

– Their first response may be to tell you “Fuck off” but that’s just them being coy and maybe a little shy. We all know what women are like.

– Persistence is key. So, just casually knock on the helmet again and gesture for them to remove the helmet so you can ask their name.

Read the whole thing; it’s funny. Martin Bishop wrote it.



R gurlz yoomn?

Sep 1st, 2016 11:00 am | By

It doesn’t get much more unmistakable than that.



Her name was Nykea Aldridge

Sep 1st, 2016 10:46 am | By

It’s not just the Olympics. Even when a woman is murdered, she’s reported as Relative of Famous Athlete Man. Being murdered is a lot worse than being disappeared in the reporting of your murder, but still – it’s an extra indignity, and it’s not great for the murdered woman’s loved ones, either.

Reuters last Sunday:

The headline: Two Chicago brothers on parole charged in murder of NBA star’s cousin

That’s an appalling headline.

First para:

Chicago police on Sunday said they have arrested two brothers and charged them with the fatal shooting of basketball star Dwyane Wade’s cousin as she pushed a baby in a stroller, a murder that has stunned a city plagued by a surge in gang-related violence.

Still bad. Puts the basketball star first, and leaves the murdered woman as just a nameless “cousin.”

The story doesn’t get to her until the second paragraph:

In a case that has emerged as a talking point in the U.S. presidential race, Darwin Sorrells Jr., 26, and Derren Sorrells, 22, are facing charges of first-degree murder and attempted murder in the death of Nykea Aldridge, a 32-year-old mother of four, police said.

I get that more people will read it if there’s a famous person hook, but then more people will read a story on climate change if you put a photo of Kim Kardashian at the top, too, and that’s not a reason to do it.



Trump’s big day

Sep 1st, 2016 9:20 am | By

Trump is in full racist-xenophobic mode. He gave another “O come all ye racists” speech in Phoenix last night, thrilling his fans and making everyone else want to expel their dinners.

Mr. Trump added new detail to the idea of a special “deportation force” to carry out his plans. He once suggested that this force would be like the military units that deported more than a million immigrants, mostly Mexicans, during Operation Wetback in 1954. Mr. Trump has previously spoken with admiration of President Eisenhower for his carrying-out of that blitz.

Yeahhhhhh, that’ll be a good look.

Mr. Trump’s very first promise in his remarks on Wednesday night was a reiteration of his plan for a “great wall along the southern border.” The Mexican president, Enrique Peña Nieto, said that in their meeting in Mexico City on Wednesday afternoon, he told Mr. Trump that his country would not pay for the wall. But that did not move Mr. Trump, who said on Wednesday night, to great cheers from the Phoenix audience, that “Mexico will pay for the wall.”

As was previously reported, that kind of border defense would be a major logistical challenge and extremely expensive for whoever pays the bill.

Trump doesn’t pay his own bills, so it makes sense that he would want to force Mexico to pay for his wall.

While he was in Mexico earlier in the day, he put a lid on the making Mexico pay for it thing.

Standing beside President Peña Nieto, Mr. Trump indicated that he had pulled a punch and chosen not to discuss his campaign promise to compel Mexico to pay for the wall. Yet Mr. Peña Nieto saw it somewhat differently, saying later on Twitter that at the start of their meeting, “I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall.”

Mr. Peña Nieto did not dispute Mr. Trump at their news conference, however, and Mexican officials said that the two men did not dwell on the wall and that their meeting was conciliatory. Still, campaign advisers to Hillary Clinton, the Democratic nominee, accused Mr. Trump of lying, and the Trump campaign issued a statement saying that the meeting was “not a negotiation” and that “it is unsurprising that they hold two different views on this issue.”

In Phoenix, Mr. Trump responded to Mr. Peña Nieto with the hectoring language that has long been part of his strategy to whip up his crowds.

“Mexico will pay for the wall, believe me — 100 percent — they don’t know it yet, but they will pay for the wall,” Mr. Trump said. “They’re great people, and great leaders, but they will pay for the wall.”

Typical bully. He mumbles and looks the other way when he’s next to the target, but when he’s hundreds of miles away, it’s back to boasts and threats.



Apple owes back taxes

Aug 31st, 2016 5:22 pm | By

The European Commission ruled yesterday that Ireland’s deal with Apple was a good deal too sweet for Apple (and thus sour for Ireland and the Irish people).

Ireland should recover up to €13bn (£11bn) from Apple in back taxes, the European Commission has ruled.

After a three-year investigation, it has concluded that the US firm’s Irish tax benefits are illegal.

The Commission said Ireland enabled the company to pay substantially less than other businesses, in effect paying a corporate tax rate of no more than 1%.

“Member states cannot give tax benefits to selected companies – this is illegal under EU state aid rules,” said Commissioner Margrethe Vestager.

“The Commission’s investigation concluded that Ireland granted illegal tax benefits to Apple, which enabled it to pay substantially less tax than other businesses over many years,” she added.

The standard rate of Irish corporate tax is 12.5%. The Commissions’s investigation concluded that Apple had effectively paid 1% tax on its European profits in 2003 and about 0.005% in 2014.

I wonder why Ireland did that. Hoping it would contribute to Ireland’s status as a tech hub?

Dominic O’Connell explains:

Individual governments appear impotent in their attempts to apply their tax laws to multinationals like Apple. They have systems designed to deal with the movement and sale of physical goods, systems that are useless when companies derive their profits from the sale of services and the exploitation of intellectual property.

In Apple’s case, 90% of its foreign profits are legally channelled to Ireland, and then to subsidiaries which have no tax residence. At the same time, countries can scarcely afford not to co-operate when Apple comes calling; it has a stock market value of $600bn, and the attraction of the jobs it can create and the extra inward investment its favours can bring are too much for most politicians to resist.

But 13 billion euros? I would think politicians would find that hard to resist too.

There is an echo here of the tycoons of the early 20th Century who bestrode America. Andrew Carnegie, Cornelius Vanderbilt and John Rockefeller were judged so powerful that they were almost above the law, something that successive US administrations sought to curb.

The European Commission’s attempt to bring Apple to heel is on the surface about tax, but in the end about the power of the multinational and the power of the state. There is more to come; Margrethe Vestager, the Danish commissioner who is leading the charge against Apple, is warming up to take on Google.

Europe versus the giants of corporate America will be a battle royale, and one that will run and run.

Colonialism rides again, disguised as a hipster.



Hoping to meet

Aug 31st, 2016 4:13 pm | By

L V Anderson at Slate has some more thoughts on the wisdom of Dan Bacon.

The post does not appear to be joke. It does contain categorically incorrect declarations such as “if a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.”

I didn’t fully notice Bacon’s soaring leap over logic there. Here’s the thing: a woman can be hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover) without hoping to meet him by being rudely accosted by some schmuck on the street.  You know? Because the boyfriend or lover she’s hoping to meet isn’t an asshole, and a guy who deliberately intrudes on women who don’t want to be intruded on is an asshole. So he’s dead wrong that a woman who  is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover)  will be happy to take off her headphones because some stranger gets in her face and tells her to. (It’s telling, not asking. There’s no way to gesture “take your headphones off” at someone as a request as opposed to a demand.)

The essay goes on for 1,500 words, even though it could easily have been edited down to just, “Ignore women’s social cues and body language to try to get what you want.”

And that’s the kind of man that very few women are hoping to meet. It’s true that all too often that turns out to be the kind of man they have met, but rarely do they set out with that goal. One who just announces himself as such on first encounter – well that’s not too appealing.



Head coyly tilted

Aug 31st, 2016 11:47 am | By

This is several years old, but it makes the point neatly.

Look, if posing naked were empowering, then the rich men who run the world would be lining up for it. We would be awash in naked dick shots of Warren Buffet and Bill Gates and Barack Obama; magazines would be filled with male politicians and financiers and moguls with their bits hanging out. Softly lit, perhaps; head coyly tilted, bunny tail on the ass. Power.

But we’re not awash with those, are we. No Trump, no Putin, no Erdoğan – no generals, no CEOs, no bankers. No one telling men that selfies are empowering. Hmm.



Researchers were told of girls feeling ugly or worthless

Aug 31st, 2016 11:28 am | By

A UK charity called the Children’s Society does an annual report, and this year’s report shows a rise in misery among girls.

Among 10 to 15-year-old girls, the charity’s report says 14% are unhappy with their lives as a whole, and 34% with their appearance.

Researchers were told of girls feeling ugly or worthless.

The figures for England, Wales and Scotland for 2013-14 represent a sharp rise in unhappiness on five years before.

By contrast the study found that boys’ sense of happiness remained stable.

What explanation came to mind before I read more? Twitter. Twitter, Facebook, selfies, Redditt – and how they all enable and amplify abuse.

It follows research recently published by the Department for Education which showed the mental well-being of teenage girls in England has worsened, compared with their counterparts in 2005.

The study highlighted the growing pressure of social media and suggested that a tough economic climate had created a more “serious” generation of young people.

The proportion of girls reporting being worried about their looks rose from 30% for the period as a whole, to 34% in the year 2013-14 – while the proportion of boys unhappy with their appearance remained unchanged at 20%.

Social media have made it so much more obvious than it used to be that female people are constantly and ruthlessly judged on their appearance.

In another study, childcare professionals have published evidence that children could be worrying about being fat or ugly at a younger age, with girls particularly affected.

The Professional Association of Childcare and Early Years says staff have noticed children as young as three being worried about their appearance.

That sucks.



A box marked “entitled”

Aug 31st, 2016 11:08 am | By

Rebecca Schiller points out that maternity rights aren’t some kind of posh luxury:

The fact that three-quarters of women experience a negative or discriminatory effect of their pregnancy at work, as a report from the women and equalities select committee shows, isn’t a huge surprise to me…

The committee estimates that 53,000 women each year are being discouraged from attending antenatal appointments by their employers, despite permanent employees having the right to time off for these crucial check-ups…

Banging the drum for the rights of pregnant women is often portrayed as an occupation for the privileged. Defending women’s rights to choose how and where they give birth or insisting that employers make careers possible for working mothers has cleverly been placed in a box marked “entitled”.

You know, those demanding bitches who think they get to have a job and children. Stupid women – only men get to do both.

Four out of five women experience pregnancy and, whether we intend to use it or not, our capacity to become pregnant sits at the root of every woman’s unequal treatment in society. This is not a discussion that needs to stay in the boardroom. Without progress in pregnancy and childbirth we cannot make enough progress in women’s broader rights. And those made more vulnerable because of their precarious low-paid, low-status jobs will continue to find pregnancy a gateway to the food bank.

It’s lose-lose innit. Women get pregnant so don’t hire them for the best jobs, and when women with their low-paid jobs do get pregnant…whoops, it turns out that they’re poor.



Social realities

Aug 31st, 2016 10:00 am | By

News out of India:

The age of consent to sexual intercourse in India is 18, which means sex with anyone below that age is rape–the exception is if the woman is above 15 and married.

On August 29, 2016, the union home ministry told the Delhi High Court that the law would stand because these were India’s “social realities”, but the age of 15, as this 2014 paper pointed out, was written into law 67 years ago, imperilling millions of girls forced into matrimony.

The fact that girls are forced into marriage at horrifyingly young ages is the social reality that needs to be changed. It’s no good saying “it’s India’s social realities” as a reason not to change it when that’s the very problem at issue. If your roof is leaking you don’t say there’s no need to patch or replace it because the leaks are the house’s physical reality.

More than 7.8 million girls below age 10 are married, among nearly 12 million children forced into matrimony–84% of them Hindu and 11% Muslim–IndiaSpendreported in June 2016, quoting recent census data.

Jayzus that’s a lot of little girls.

H/t Kausik.



If a woman has her headphones in, the answer is never

Aug 30th, 2016 6:18 pm | By

Martha Mills at the Guardian has thoughts on Dan Bacon’s how to intrude on women advice:

Here’s Dan’s interpretation of how the conversation goes once a man has used his infallible five-point Jedi mind trick to bludgeon a woman from her blissful state of aural security:

You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner] Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s a cutie, I have to say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: [Usually flattered by the compliment and impressed by your confidence to approach her like that] Jessica.

You: [Add in some humor] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica. I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.

Woman: [Most likely laughing, smiling and enjoying the interaction].

You: [Let her know that you have something to do/somewhere to go, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, so I’m just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. I’m on my way to a store up the street. How’s your day going so far?

In his scenario, Jessica has just been waiting her whole life to be blessed with the attention of a complete stranger who mistakes hunched shoulders, darting eyes and rictus for laughing and smiling.

Here’s how it plays out in real life. Trust me, I’ve been it, seen it and spoken to the survivors:

Him: I see you don’t want to be talked to but I find you physically attractive and I’m making that your problem.

Her: Please leave me alone.

Him: FUCK YOU, YOU STUCK UP BITCH, I DIDN’T FANCY YOU ANYWAY.

Then she explains how threatening and insulting all this really is:

I appreciate the world of mating is hard but please, for the love of humanity, learn this: just because you want, doesn’t mean you can have. Women are not commodities to be hunted and won, and if you have no luck finding someone to bump pink bits with, that’s your problem, not our fault for not adhering to the playbook rules. It’s a playbook we never signed up for and it’s only a game if both teams actually know they’re playing.

Nowhere in his advice does Dan tell his frustrated man-babies how to handle rejection with grace, because the advice is simply not to accept it. This attitude is why I and countless other women have been been chased down the street, followed home, physically restrained, spat at, verbally abused and generally made to feel like garbage, merely for trying to exist.

So when, I hear the whiny pissbabies ask, when am I allowed to approach hot single women? Simple.

If a woman has her headphones in, the answer is never – and before you bleat on about “ooh, what if there’s a fire?”, she’ll smell it, even through all your bullshit. If you’re in a bar or party, her flirtatious smile may be the come-on you’re looking for, but be prepared to accept that you read it wrong, politely wish her a good evening and toddle back off out of her life without 20 minutes of awkward pawing, insisting she let you buy her a rohypnoltini. But how about this; take up a hobby, ask your friends if they know of someone looking to date or (brace yourself for a whopper of a revelation) if you’re looking for a horde of single, eligible women all looking for friendship-maybe-more in one convenient place, try a dating site.

Here’s a tip from me: don’t assume you have a “sense of humor” in the sense of being amusing to other people. It’s not something you can just assume and it doesn’t included along with the testicles.



Approaching a woman in a confident, easy going way

Aug 30th, 2016 5:57 pm | By

Today’s trending jackass is an Australian “dating expert” called Dan Bacon, who wrote an expertise-filled piece on how to make some bitch take her fucking headphones off and let you try to get in her pants. It’s full of quite startling delusion (or dishonesty). Like:

Some women like to test to see how confident a guy is by ignoring his attempts to converse with her and then seeing what he does next.

Does he become nervous and awkward? Does he walk away in shame, or does he remain calm and continue talking to her in a confident, easy-going manner?

If a guy gives up at the first sign of resistance, a woman like her will lose interest because he lacks the type of confidence that she looks for in a guy.

He’s very keen on confidence as the way to get a woman to stop doing what she’s doing and pay attention to him instead. Beware of these common mistakes:

3. Not leading the conversation

If a shy guy stands in front a woman and is lost for words, she’s most likely going to just put her headphones back in or say, “Nice to meet you. Bye” as she walks away to get away from him.

You have approached her, so you can’t expect her to be the one making all the conversation. You’ve got to lead the way.

Leading a conversation with a woman is not about bossing her around, being arrogant or being too assertive as you talk to her. Instead, you simply need to remain confident and keep the conversation going in a relaxed, easy going manner.

4. Sticking to polite or reserved conversation

If a guy gets a woman to take off her headphones to talk to him and then only engages her in a polite, reserved conversation, she’s probably not going to be very enthusiastic about talking to him for long.

So, make sure that you have the confidence to talk to her and be real. Just let your natural personality and sense of humor come through as you talk to her in a confident, easy going manner, rather than trying to be too polite or reserved.

I trust you’re getting the hang of it? Don’t be polite, be confident and easy going and let your sense of humor (which it goes without saying is killer) come through. Women love that. A little confident, easy going explanation goes a long way, too. Ask her what she does, and when she tells you, explain it to her.

Also you have to understand about who does what. It’s hard-wired, you know. That’s science.

As you may have noticed, women usually don’t go around actively approaching men in public places or even in bars or clubs.

Women know that is the man’s role to be confident enough to walk over and talk to a woman he finds attractive, so they have a chance to meet. If he doesn’t do that, a woman will rarely walk over and talk to him first.

So, don’t ever think that you’re doing a bad thing by approaching and talking to a woman in a confident, easy going way.

Most single women are open to being approached by a confident guy, so that they can have a chance to meet a potential new lover or boyfriend.

Right. There’s no chance at all that the reason they’re not actively approaching you is that they don’t want to approach you – no no, it’s that their mating-wiring tells them to stand very still and wait for you to approach in a confident, easy going way.

And in conclusion –

The key to talking to a woman who is wearing headphones (or who has her face buried into her smartphone and checking Facebook) is to be confident, relaxed and easy going as you talk to her.

Of course, not all women who wear headphones are open to being approached or hoping to be approached. However, you can only find that out by starting a conversation and seeing what happens.

Who knows, she might just be your perfect girl, so go ahead and talk to her.

Yes! Never hesitate to interrupt and bother a woman. Women are public property, after all, so if you see one you want to talk to fuck, interrupt and bother her! It’s your right!



The hate crime ambassador

Aug 30th, 2016 4:05 pm | By

The BBC reports:

A comment in which a transgender Tory councillor was called “he” by a Labour rival is being treated as a hate incident by police.

Zoe Kirk-Robinson, 35, said Guy Harkin, 69, referred to her twice as a man in a debate at a Bolton Council meeting.

The hate crime ambassador, who transitioned 10 years ago, said the comments on 24 August “hurt a lot” and she reported them to police.

Mr Harkin has apologised. Police said “hate incidents are not tolerated”.

Greater Manchester Police (GMP) said it will resolve the incident, which was reported on 25 August, using restorative justice.

Mr Harkin said he “inadvertently referred to her as a he” during a debate about pensions at the meeting where more than 60 councillors, press, council officers and the public attended.

Hate incidents are not tolerated. Really? You could have fooled me. There’s certainly a hell of a lot of tolerance for men calling women cunts and twats and bitches.

Ms Kirk-Robinson, who has stood as Conservative councillor for a year, said: “All I’m looking for is an apology and a chance to say why this is inappropriate.

“To have someone attack me, for being me, it’s deeply upsetting.”

Interesting…Here’s Kirk-Robinson on Twitter a couple of years ago:

Note that the BBC referred to Kirk-Robinson as “the hate crime ambassador.” She seems a tad misogynist for a hate crime ambassador.



The mix of condescension and entitlement is stunning

Aug 30th, 2016 12:31 pm | By

Via Facebook, a takedown of David Brooks’s patronizing advice to Clinton, by someone who wants to remain anonymous.

Brooks:

If you interpret your life as a battlefield, then you will want to maintain control at all times. You will hoard access. You will refuse to have press conferences. You will close yourself off to those who can help.

If you treat the world as a friendly and hopeful place, as a web of relationships, you’ll look for the good news in people and not the bad. You’ll be willing to relinquish control, and in surrender you’ll actually gain more strength as people trust in your candor and come alongside.

Response by anonymous genius:

Her political life IS a battlefield, you oblivious, sanctimonious, selectively amnesiac, self-pleasuring shitgoblin. She’s running against Donald Trump and his brigade of white nationalists while Republicans are already laying plans to impeach her, the press salivates for the one Clinton scoop that will bring her down (there will ALWAYS be more probing, more invading, more accusing), and people with zero idea of her record or accomplishments shout “Lock her up,” “Trump the bitch,” “Hang her,” and “Kill her.”

Yes, it’s the perfect time to prioritize “grace,” relinquish control and surrender to the goodwill of the populace, who only want the best for her. Why so serious, Hillary? SMILE!

There’s a subtle but raging cruelty embedded in opinions like these. They’re not only ignorant of the real experiences of ambitious, revolutionary women — they’re ignorant of their own ignorance, unaware of their hypocrisy in recommending empathy while practicing none. In Brooks’ formulation, her secrecy is the result of being a paranoid, distrustful shrew who just needs to relax, let down her hair, leave her door unlocked and trust that everyone wishes her well, rather than a sensible, seasoned professional who’s been a target for over a third of her life and knows her enemies better than they know themselves. The mix of condescension (“Let me help you, honey”) and entitlement (“We’ve shit all over you and demonized you for 25 years, why won’t you get vulnerable with us? “) is stunning. It’s an argument I’ve seen a thousand times — the world would be nicer to women if only women were nicer back.

And there’s an implication here that’s even more insidious: the instinct to survive and thrive on one’s own terms is less important than the obligation to please. It’s more important to make David Brooks feel good about you than it is to campaign effectively and win. It’s more important to make him feel good than for YOU to feel good.

Smile!

Actually, if you’re a man reading this, do not ever make a clown of yourself by instructing women that the world is safer, fuzzier, and more welcoming than they think it is, that their fears are silly or that they have an overactive imagination. And I say this as a woman who is brave as hell, tough as hell, has done considerable work to overcome her fears, and is, despite everything, an optimist. If you make light of women’s anxieties about their place in the world, if you talk more on this topic than you listen, you’re advertising your ignorance. If you feel yourself about to do it, put something in your mouth.

How pleasant for David Brooks that his positive, sunny approach to life yields positive results. Maybe he should retire from writing editorials and try running for office.

I’ll just repeat one favorite bit for emphasis:

In Brooks’ formulation, her secrecy is the result of being a paranoid, distrustful shrew who just needs to relax, let down her hair, leave her door unlocked and trust that everyone wishes her well, rather than a sensible, seasoned professional who’s been a target for over a third of her life and knows her enemies better than they know themselves. The mix of condescension (“Let me help you, honey”) and entitlement (“We’ve shit all over you and demonized you for 25 years, why won’t you get vulnerable with us? “) is stunning. It’s an argument I’ve seen a thousand times — the world would be nicer to women if only women were nicer back.

Nailed it.