Qualifications in acupuncture
Now that we’ve met Maisie Hill let’s get to know her even better. She certainly wants to tell people on the internet all about herself.
Chapter one: she had horrible period pain for 15 years, which is not something I would wish on anyone. Except Donald Trump.
Chapter two: she became fabulous.
At the time I was managing a rock bar in Soho and trying to find my path in life (having previously experimented with tattooing, music merchandise, and working in a parrot store in New York), so when I found the perfect combination of therapies that finally dealt with my period pain once and for all, I was inspired to train as a health practitioner.
What’s a health practitioner? How is it different from a doctor or nurse?
She says she’s been “working in reproductive and hormonal health” for 15 years. Again I don’t know what that means. I suspect the vagueness is deliberate.
My qualifications include:
- BSc Chinese Medicine Acupuncture which included a semester in the neurology department of a Chinese hospital.
- Diplomas in Life Coaching, Reflexology, Aromatherapy, Massage, and the Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal Therapy (ATMAT).
- Post-graduate diploma in Paediatric Acupuncture.
Ah, so no qualifications at all then. A new agey quack.
Conclusion:
I’m an all round fantastic person.
And a person who wants to hire a part-time assistant to do the full time jobs of 3 or 4 people. Much fantastic.
Funny, having a Diploma in Aromatherapy and all, that she wasn’t able to detect the horrible smell emanating from the “No TERF” line of the
articles of indenturejob description.I’m horrified to learn there is such a thing as “Paediatric Acupuncture”. Automatic child abuse charges in my view.
So, her dysmenorrhea resolved by itself (as it sometimes does) and she thinks sticking herself with needles and pleasant fragrances cured it. And whatever that Maya abdominal therapy is (it’s possible some gentle abdominal massage could help, though one would hardly need a diploma for that.)
If you say so, Maisie.
Um, I should have written “sticking herself with needles and sniffing pleasant fragrances.” I don’t really think Maisie stuck herself with pleasant fragrances. Though if doing so became fashionable she’d probably get a diploma in it.
Once upon a time, at a youth hostel in Paris, I ran across a Chinese tourist who offered to acupuncture my very sore knees (sore from walking too much around Paris). I closed my eyes while they were doing it. I felt a couple of thumps on the knees, about like a doctor’s reflex hammer, and when I opened my eyes, there were giant funny-looking needles poking out of my knee joints. It didn’t hurt a bit. I don’t recall that it helped much, either, but it was an interesting experience, and it was certainly a gesture of good will on the part of a complete stranger to help me.
I absolutely love/ am enraged that this hero of wokeness is looking to illegally exploit the person she wants to hire.
I am imagining what happens when the woman (we know it’s a woman, men wouldn’t countenance this shit) doesn’t respond to a voice note because she’s done her 7 hours per week.
The ‘practitioner’ euphemism was, I’m pretty sure, coined by Mary Baker Eddy. To giver her quacks a vaguely professional tone. Its always a red flag.
Actually not always – there are such things as nurse practitioners, and it’s not a euphemism for bullshit, it’s a nurse with a graduate degree in advanced practice nursing. Nurse plus; super-nurse; that kind of thing. So Hill is being really sleazy calling herself that.
Meanwhile thanks for the Mary Baker Eddy reminder. A neglected subject…
My childhood was deformed, in part, by Mary Baker Eddy.