Ban, ban, taliban
Update: an attentive reader noticed what I didn’t: this story is dated 2003. This of course doesn’t make it an atom less revolting, it just makes it not Breaking News. (I must say, I didn’t know NWFP was that bad five years ago…)
What was that I was saying about what worthless malevolent thuggish bastards the Taliban are?
Male doctors and technicians have been banned from carrying out ultrasound examinations and using electrocardiographs (ECG) on female patients by the Islamist government of Pakistan’s North West Frontier province in its latest step towards “Talibanisation”. The ban effectively excludes all women from undergoing such crucial medical examinations as the province has only one female ECG technician and none trained in ultrasound. “We think that men could derive sexual pleasure from women’s bodies while conducting ECG or ultrasound,” explained Maulana Gul Naseeb Khan, the provincial general secretary of the Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal (MMA), the six-party religious alliance which now governs the North West Frontier. “Similarly some women could lure men under the pretext of ECG or ultrasound. Therefore to uphold the supreme values of Islam, the MMA has decided to impose the ban in line with the May 8 resolution of the province’s assembly that nothing repugnant to Islam will be allowed.”
Listen, you stupid evil pile of dung – anybody could do anything. You could get a hard-on every time you open your foul malodorous mouth to explain why you and your horrible friends want to see women forbidden to use medical technology – and I bet you do. Men could derive sexual pleasure from rubbing themselves against the nearest goat, and some women could ‘lure’ men by being alive within 50 kilometers of one – but that’s not a reason to impose yet another idiotic prurient goggle-eyed jerk-off restriction on women and their ability to get health care.
‘The supreme values of Islam’ – the ones that are more important than health, education, development, prosperity, decent relations between people, sanity, pleasure, happiness, fun, laughter, jokes, music, dancing, kites – have we left anything out? ‘Nothing repugnant to Islam will be allowed’ – and since everything is repugnant to stupid medieval brutalist backward life-hating woman-hating Islam, at least in your version of it, then nothing will be allowed, and everybody will just dry up and blow away like an old piece of dust. That’s the plan, is it?
The clerics have already banned public dancing and music, kite flying and satellite television. They have closed cinemas, photographic shops and beauty parlours, and have torn down billboards displaying female images.
That’s what I said – they’ve banned pretty much everything. Let’s see, what else is there – flowers, birds, colour, spices, scents, sport, games, bicycles, roller skates, pictures, fruit, wind, rain, stars, planets, sunrise, sunset – have you banned all those yet? Better get on it.
Human rights activists are concerned that the ban will result in more stillborn babies and deaths in pregnancy. Pakistan already has one of the world’s highest rates of deaths in pregnancy, with an estimated 30,000 women dying in childbirth each year.
Oh who cares about that – at least all those dead women won’t be luring men, or working as police officers, or otherwise violating the ‘supreme values of Islam.’