As long as we’re dropping in on the pregnancy-fetishists, let’s drop in on one of the top fetishists of them all, Michelle Duggar. What’s Michelle Duggar been up to lately you wonder? Well trying to get pregnant with kid #20 is one thing (even though she nearly died carrying kid #19 and had a miscarriage last year), and another is telling her daughters not to be slutty, aka teaching them about “modest dress.”
My daughters are the second generation of modest dressing in this family. They’ve grown up being dressed modestly, and in clothes that are definitely more feminine apparel. I’ve told my daughters this has been a joyful journey for me to learn what my Lord has called me to. This is the direction that God has led me as your mother, and you’re in the family.
Rilly? That happened? God personally told her to tell her daughters not to wear jeans because that’s not feminine apparel? (Did he tell her to use words like “apparel” instead of “clothes” to sound more elevated and magisterial? In a feminine way, of course.)
When the girls are little, they’re jumping and playing and not even thinking about modesty. It’s good because that’s the way children should be. As a parent I would have to remind them, let’s not stand upside down on your head in that chair because you want to practice being ladylike. And they look at me with this puzzled looked like, what does that mean? I’ll explain, well, it means that you sit up, put your knees together and pull your skirt down over your knees.
In other words if you stand upside down in feminine apparel then PEOPLE CAN SEE YOUR UNDERPANTS.
Underpants underpants underpants. Oooooh. Satan. Flesh. Hot. Burning. Pants pants pants. What’s under the pants. Under.pants. Underpants. Under pants.
THE HOLE. THE HOLE IS UNDER THERE. YOU MUST NEVER STAND ON YOUR HEAD.
God forbid the kids should just wear jeans or shorts and bounce around any way they feel like. Hell no. They have to be all squicked out about it right from the beginning.
Even though they have on pantaloons or leggings, I’m teaching them that it’s not very polite to sit on your head with your legs scattered all over the place. It’s not like, shame on you, it’s more like, we’re going to learn to be proper and be a little lady instead of a tomboy that climbs in the tree all day long. There’s a time and a place for all of that. I definitely give them the freedom to go catch tadpoles and climb trees because I love doing that, too, but I want them to be ladylike and modest when we’re doing it.
Well, at the dinner table, if they do headstands they might accidentally kick the food onto the floor. But other than that? Pffffff. The hell with being ladylike.
But then I don’t get my instructions from god, so I’m probably all wrong here.