Andy Borowitz:

California US House Rep. Ted Lieu has dropped explosive new allegations against Donald Trump over the mention of the latter’s name in the Epstein files. Lieu claimed that the unredacted Epstein files, which were viewed by a select group of US House Reps, contain disturbing allegations against Trump.

“Donald Trump is in the Epstein files thousands and thousands of times,” Lieu said. “In those files, there are highly disturbing allegations, allegations of Donald Trump raping children and threatening to kill children.”

I don’t think he would risk saying that if it weren’t true, because Trump.