Author: Ophelia Benson

The Bishop of Oxford seems to be in an irritable mood.

For a Christian it is always too early to give a final verdict, for only at the end of time will all be known, or as Tony Blair put it, it must be “left to God’s judgment”. It is strange how this standard piece of Christian orthodoxy should arouse such ire amongst the cultured despisers of religion just because it came from a Christian prime minister. They should have been worried if it hadn’t.

No it isn’t. It isn’t strange at all. It’s the taking it for granted that is strange. We know it’s a standard piece of Christian orthodoxy, of course, but that’s just it – it’s a standard piece of Christian orthodoxy and it’s a fairy tale. Our ire is aroused when people take for granted that an invented person-like yet mysterious agent will ‘at the end of time’ deliver a judgment on Tony Blair’s decisions. The bishop probably wouldn’t find it strange if people got irritated because Blair said his decisions must be ‘left to Harry Potter’s judgment’ at the end of time, but Christian orthodoxy is supposed to transform fantasy into the unremarkable. Well it doesn’t.

Yes, I prefer to rely on reason rather than eternity, if that is how you insist on putting it…But this is not all the mind does. When you and I read art critics we are looking for more than an ability to argue rationally. We want discernment and discrimination. If you like, we want sensibility as well as sense. This involves the mind to the full but not the mind alone. It is the same when we are thinking about moral or spiritual matters: the whole person is involved.

But what does that have to do with theism? (It is atheism that Harries is railing against.) Nothing, as he goes on to admit himself. But then what, exactly, is his quarrel with what he so elegantly calls ‘the attack dogs of the new atheism’? It’s hard to say. They think moral progress is possible. Harries prefers John Gray. Hmm.

Oh so that’s how you combat violence against women – by volunteering to wear a hijab.

The purpose of Scarves for Solidarity is to help save battered women while spreading awareness about Islam. The Muslim Student Association is working with sponsors who plan to donate $5 to Battered Women’s Shelter for every female who volunteers to wear a head-scarf/hijab on Monday, April 7th 2007.

That helps ‘save’ battered women because…because…because the hijab broadcasts the message that women need to be concealed. No. Because it conveys the message that women are a distraction to men and therefore have to be muffled from head to foot so that men can get on with their work. No. Because it shows that women are submissive to a male god and a male prophet and a lot of male clerics. No. Because it shows that women obey stupid rules that keep them in their place. No. Because – I give up.

Head-scarves will be available (FOR FREE) at the Union lobby between 12 pm and 3 pm throughout the week of Monday, March 31st. All that is required from you is to wear the scarf provided for you from 10am until 7:30 pm on April 7th. The scarves will all be the same color so that you can recognize other women volunteering to save battered women.

Oh is that all! All that is required from you is to wear a stifling piece of cloth wrapped tightly around your head and face and chin for nine and a half hours – a mere trifle!

There isn’t a set way to wear hijab. You can be as creative as you want as long as your body is covered (except your face and hands) with material that is long, loose, and not transparent.

Oh thank you. Thank you thank you thank you – you are so kind, so generous, so liberal, so relaxed. I can be as creative as I want provided every bit of me except my face and hands is covered with long loose opaque material. Why, my creative little mind is already buzzing with plans to embroider birdies and seashells and feathers on my robes.

They’re so sweet, they even provide an illustration of how it’s done. You pin the fabric at your chin, then you pin it again at the top of your head, and bob’s your uncle, there you are, with your whole head all nicely wrapped up like a corpse. Don’t you feel wonderful? That’s the way to combat violence against women! Well done Stony Brook Muslim Students Association.