Guest post: Please clarify

Originally a comment by Claire on God’s instrument.

To: God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit

CC; Archangel Michael

Sir,

I am writing to gain some clarity on the proclamations made by your emissaries here on Earth. Previously we had been led to understand that Barack Obama had gained the presidency by nefarious means such as getting more votes etc and was installed against your will. In office we were further informed by Metatron, the Voice of God, also known as Fox News that President Obama committed hideous crimes in office, such as wearing a tan suit, eating fancy mustard, being good at singing and worst of all, improving access to healthcare.

Obviously we understand that President Trump is your Chosen One, as evidenced by his moral and unimpeachable conduct such as conducting affairs with porn stars and sexually assaulting women, lying, cheating, money-laundering and so on. His divine mission to lower taxes on the top 1% and to sell out the US to Your Favored dictators such as Mr Putin of Russia is progressing as planned.

However, we are now given to understand that in contrast to previous statements, Mr Obama was in fact allowed to ascend the presidency, if not explicitly planned by you. We remain confused about whether Mr Obama is in fact Lucifer, the Great Adversary with his hand-maiden, the anti-Christ Hilary Clinton and as such should shunned and excoriated, or whether he in fact was part of the greater plan to get the new Messiah elected to the presidency in order to bring about the End Times.

If you could please respond in the usual means through your prophets here on Earth in the next 10 business days, I will be able to proceed with the Divine Plan of welcoming Russia’s help in the election and ensuring President Obama, Secretary Clinton and her hordes of demons are sent back to Hell or Benghazi whichever is most convenient.

Yours etc.

Secretary for Energy, Rick Perry and Attorney-General Bill Barr

One Response to “Guest post: Please clarify”