Socially Maladjusted Loner? Excellent!
Another remark or two on that discussion at Invisible Adjunct (and I have the link right this time, which makes a change). There is something one person said, about what it takes to become an academic, that strikes such a chord with me.
The problem, of course, is that such people are not much fun to be around and aren’t well adjusted socially. I know this description fits me pretty well, and almost everyone I know (other than my colleagues) finds me odd beyond belief. In short, the best traits for success in grad school are being a socially maladjusted loner with the dedication of a religious penitent. Like priests, others won’t and can’t understand your sacrifices, and can’t even imagine how your life could be happy without all those things you have sacrificed. But you are happy. If you can’t imagine happiness as a relatively celibate, materially deprived (relative to other middle class folks, of course), misunderstood, and largely isolated person, don’t dream of being a professor.
But see those are the kind of people that I do think are fun to be around – for a few minutes every few months or so, which is all the time they can spare. But what’s wrong with that? People set too much store by sociability and conviviality and gregariousness and likability and social skills and all that trivial nonsense. What’s so great about nice people? Give me a good obsessive maniac any day! But then I would say that, wouldn’t I. So such people are ‘odd beyond belief’ – why is that a problem? Odd people are the best people! Normal people are a dime a dozen, it’s the odd ones who make things interesting.
Well, I think it’s important to distinguish between some jerk who just doesn’t have any manners/ethics and a person who does but just isn’t interested in conforming to some gender, age, ethnic or economic stereotype; who is more interested in things/ideas than in people, or who doesn’t want to waste time hanging with the sort that can’t think past sports, knee-jerk politics, or celebrity gossip.
E.g., I wouldn’t want to pal around with Charles Manson. But you made a good point in showing that what some people call maladjustment is just what they themselves can’t understand.
Yeah, that’s true. (Didn’t mean to startle you, I just happen to be in the area, posting another comment.) But I did say odd, not homicidal! You are right though – I spend a lot of time reminding myself that when I say ‘odd’ I really mean ‘odd in ways I happen to like as opposed to ones I don’t.’ I’m not particularly drawn to people who rant on buses and such. But hey, it was a little rhetorical, that’s all. One of my vices. Or oddities.
“…It’s not fair, but neither is life. If you haven’t learned that by now, then you’ll certainly learn it once you’re in grad school.”
Oh how painfully true.
I don’t think “the best traits for success in grad school are being a socially maladjusted loner with the dedication of a religious penitent” rather you should have self-belief bordering on mental illness, its the only way you’ll get out the other end with enough confidence to actually do anything with your PhD…
Mmmyes, but in my book, those two things are almost the same thing. Mentally ill self-belief that causes one to be a happily socially maladjusted loner with the dedication of an anchorite. Hyperbolically speaking, of course.