Guest post: The trajectory of “radical sexualities”

Guest post by Josh Spokes.

The gay community’s historical project of sexual liberation was something very different than what I thought it was when I was a young man coming into that world in the late 80s and early 90s. I see now, of course, that it was an almost entirely male “community.”

The pleas for acceptance for “radical sexualities” that seemed so innocent to me, so reasonable, then—-these were just the seeds that have bloomed into today’s lesbian-bashing, misogyny, pedophilic interest in children’s bodies, and much worse.

I struggle with this. Many of us chafed against the “respectable” gays that wanted us to tone it down so they could present in their sweaters and khakis as just another suburban couple who wanted to start a family. I resent that excessive assimilation, too, especially when it’s based on a patriarchal fantasy.

But we let perverts have too big a voice. There are, in fact, larger consequences down the line for arguing that walking your “sub” on a leash at outdoor parades is a symbol of freedom and love.

It is not the exclusive purview of Christianity or repressive religion to recognize that sexuality is a distinct thing that should not be treated like a marketable commodity. There are good reasons why we delineate the public and private sphere. There are good reasons to treat sex and intimacy with care, and not to contribute to an ever more violent (metaphorical and physical) expression of sexuality as a zero sum commodity.

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