You’re invited for a visit while no one is home

Now Theresa May is hoping Trump’s state visit to the UK can be sneaked in over a quiet weekend at the dog-end of summer so that no one will notice.

The US president’s controversial visit is now expected to run from a Thursday to a Sunday in late summer or early autumn, with officials trying to ensure that Trump is not in London at a time when parliament is sitting, in order to avoid a formal snub.

According to Westminster sources, a weekend visit at the very end of August or in September is now under discussion between the government, Buckingham Palace and the White House. A source described such a plan as “the preferred option at our end”. Parliament will be in summer recess until 5 September and adjourns again for the party conferences on 15 September for nearly a month.

Should work. Everyone will be in Tuscany or the Dordogne or St Ives or Margate, so Donnie can just dash in, do some shopping at Harrods, visit a pub, maybe take in a cricket match, and off home again. No fuss no muss.

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