After our army took over the airports, it shelled CNN and MSNBC

Amee Vanderpool breaks down all of Trump’s failures yesterday:

What was also interesting was the arrangement of the bleachers at the very front and the placement of the tanks Trump had been going on and on about. In a grand stroke of irony, fences were placed around the Lincoln Memorial and across the Reflecting Pool to kept non-ticket-holders away from the memorial and given the potential for lightning in the forecast, the excessive use of more metal in the pool was a questionable move.

In other words millions in public money were spent to enable Trump to throw a private party at the Lincoln Memorial. People outside the fence couldn’t see anything, including the much-vaunted tanks.

It started to pour rain well before Trump’s scheduled speech time and a lot of attendees made a break for it when they realized they couldn’t get into the restricted area to really see anything. Once Trump began his speech, he was standing behind plexiglass-glass so even the television cameras were obscured by drizzling rain. Trump used a TelePrompTer, which might lead you to believe that this would keep him on track and be as accurate as possible, but…no.

Well you see, for that to work he would have to be able to read, and he isn’t really. He’s able to read in the rudimentary fashion of a learner, but not in the sense of a practiced reader who can read quickly and fluently. He stumbles a lot.

Our Commander in Chief, who received five deferments for Vietnam due to suspicious bone spurs, encouraged people to “make a great statement in life” and join the military. His cadence was awkward and broken and he looked as uncomfortable as I’m sure all of the attendees felt. His speech, which was likely written after Stephen Miller googled Colonial History rather than learning it, was riddled with errors and mispronunciations and I will summarize the biggest mistakes for you…

Why is Trump so convinced that July 4 is all about the military?

Oh, I bet I know why. It’s because he’s so literal, and stunted. He’s too literal and stunted to grasp abstract notions like democracy and rights (let alone incomplete democracy and rights). He can grasp the military because it’s graspable: he can grasp a tank or a fighter jet or a Marine.

Then came the airports.

Here is a transcript of what he actually said: “In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified army out of the revolutionary forces encamped around Boston and New York and named after the great George Washington, commander in chief. The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the [unclear], it [unclear] the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under “the rockets red glare,” it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant.”

There are so many errors here, so let’s jump right in:

  1. British General Cornwallis was defeated at Yorktown but he was from London, which would make him General Cornwallis of London.
  2. The Continental Army wasn’t named after Washington. Trump seemed very confused and disoriented throughout his speech and it was obvious the TelePrompTer was throwing him off so maybe he mis-spoke and used the wrong verb. Or maybe his speechwriter, likely Stephen Miller, really doesn’t know the accurate history.
  3. He combines two separate wars, fought decades apart. Valley Forge, crossing the Delaware and Yorktown all occurred during the Revolutionary War in 1775. But then Trump mentions Fort McHenry and the battle that inspired the national anthem, which was fought in 1814 during the War of 1812.
  4. I’m sure he means “Fort McHenry” here and is just struggling to read, but in the audio you can hear that he pronounces it “Fort McHendry.”
  5. Trump claims that the soldiers in one of these battles, either in 1775 or 1814, took over the airports. The airports.

Who are we to say they didn’t? Were we there? Did we watch them not take over the airports? Did we?

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