Do be sweet, do not be annoying

Written by

Ophelia Benson

in

The jokes write themselves.

Presumably “land a great guy” means “capture the affections of a man for purposes of marriage or commitment or a rewarding temporary relationship”…but isn’t the list kind of bare bones? Even putting feminism aside for a moment, is that really what Great Guys want? Someone sweet and not annoying? That’s it?

On the upside, I guess women in the market for a Great Guy can feel relieved, because meeting the criteria would be a doddle. No need to be thoughtful or curious or clever or widely read or funny or surprising or…anything, really. Just sweet; just not annoying.

I say it’s simpler to get a blow-up doll and a chef.

Comments

11 responses to “Do be sweet, do not be annoying”

  1. Sastra Avatar
    Sastra

    The list could easily be boiled down to a single cardinal rule. Throw out everything but the last one:

    How to Land a Great Guy; Get a Great Gal; Be the Best Mom; Become a Super Dad; Win that Wonderful Job; and Rate All Around Tops:

    1.) Don’t be annoying.

    (brought to you by Mrs. Lyman’s 6 th Grade Class)

  2. Ophelia Benson Avatar
    Ophelia Benson

    It’s “first do no harm” all over again. Very good in its way, but not enough for a Deep Personal Relationship. Is a good rule for riding the bus or sitting in a movie theater, but limited for more time-consuming interactions.

  3. Ophelia Benson Avatar
    Ophelia Benson

    Also Google’s old motto.

  4. What a Maroon Avatar
    What a Maroon

    I guess I’m not a great guy. Just as well I’m already married.

  5. Holms Avatar
    Holms

    Just in case people were wondering what gender is and why true feminism is anti-gender… Zuby.

  6. twiliter Avatar
    twiliter

    Some guys like great women who don’t hail from Stepford. Some guys don’t feel the need to give advice to women. Some guys admire angry feminists. I could go on, but I’m not as great as Zuby.

  7. John Wasson Avatar
    John Wasson

    Anna Bijns said unyoked is best.

  8. chigau Avatar
    chigau

    I would really, really, really, like to make a sandwich for Zuby.

    Using only the very best ingredients.

  9. Holms Avatar
    Holms

    This one?

  10. John the Drunkard Avatar
    John the Drunkard

    And who the hell is Zuby?

  11. Your Name's not Bruce? Avatar
    Your Name’s not Bruce?

    And who the hell is Zuby?

    This post is the second time I’ve heard him mentioned. First time was this:

    A British rapper named “Zuby” garnered worldwide attention in March of 2019 after posting a video of himself declaring he had broken the British Women’s deadlift record.

    In the tweet Zuby said that he “identified as a woman whilst lifting the weight,” ultimately trolling the debate of transgender people competing in athletic events.

    He claimed to have broken the women’s dead-lift record of 238kg (528 pounds), and he said it was “without even trying”.

    I keep hearing about how biological men don’t have any physical strength advantage over women in 2019…

    So watch me DESTROY the British Women’s deadlift record without trying.

    P.S. I identified as a woman whilst lifting the weight. Don’t be a bigot.

    Story here:

    https://www.wqad.com/article/news/local/drone/8-in-the-air/male-rapper-identifying-as-female-informally-breaks-female-dead-lift-record-to-prove-a-point/526-4e1a441e-42e4-417b-9fca-e1cb6a3574f3

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