How you can better

Last July Stonewall posted some advice on “how you can better support non-binary people.”

Is this a reciprocal type thing? Is there advice to non-binary people on how they can better support binary people?

And what is it to “support” people anyway? When it’s parents of minors, for instance, it means paying their expenses. When it’s non-binary people…?

So let’s see what Stonewall tells us.

There are many ways to be inclusive of everyone, regardless of their gender identity. Our language and the way we speak is often embedded with hidden gendered cues.

So to support non-binary people we should get rid of all those embedded hidden gendered cues, yes? Only, then, won’t trans people wonder what happened to our support of them? If we can’t say “she” any more how can we Validate the Idenniny of our trans laydee friends?

Once we start to notice them, we can move towards using language that’s inclusive for all. Here are 10 tips you can start using right away!

1. Introduce yourself with your name and pronoun. Stating your pronouns reminds people that it might not always be immediately obvious what pronoun someone uses

My pronoun is “I” – and so is everyone else’s. I don’t see where that gets anyone.

3. Instead of addressing groups of people with binary language such as ‘ladies and gentlemen’, try more inclusive alternatives such as ‘folks’, ‘pals’ or ‘everyone’

But see this is what’s worrying: won’t trans women resent this disappearance of “ladies”?

4. Use words that define the relationship instead of the relationship and gender. For example, use ‘parents’, ‘partner’, ‘children’ or ‘siblings’

But what if we’re talking about our brother or sister? We have to call them “my sibling” instead? Also see the part about trans women not wanting to see the lady words disappear.

5. Not everyone is comfortable with gendered titles such as ‘Ms’ or ‘Mr’. Titles are not always necessary, but if they must be used it’s good to provide alternative ones such as ‘Mx’ (pronounced mix or mux)

Not everyone is comfortable being called Mux, either.

6. Use the singular ‘their’ instead of ‘his/her’ in letters and other forms of writing, i.e. ‘when a colleague finishes their work’ as opposed to ‘when a colleague finishes his/her work’

Why would we say his/her? We would say her or else we would say his, because we would know who the colleague is. Are we supposed to say “their” even though we know it’s her or his? Can we refuse?

9. Make sure that your workplace, school and college policies and documents use inclusive language, i.e. using ‘they’ instead of ‘he/she’ and avoiding sentences that imply two genders. Where specifically talking about gender identity, make sure it is inclusive of non-binary gender identities and not just trans men and trans women

In other words make everyone at your workplace, school, and college hate you. I don’t think so. I’m refusing whether you say I can or not.

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