Not a diss
Jo Grady, the very pro-trans and anti-feminist General Secretary of the University and College Union, agrees with the “auntie is an affectionate compliment” take.
That’s an utterly stupid thing to say. If a student called Jo Grady “Granny” would she consider it a mark of respect?
She very well might if the “student” was someone she’d known since they were a child and had changed and improved their life enormously.
I usually think Helen Joyce has her finger very much on the mark, but not on this one. She went off on a tangent which is true enough, just not applicable here.
That’s the thing, these terms are not in and of themselves marks of respect or disrespect. It very much depends who uses them, how, and why. I have seen these terms used affectionately a fair amount, and I see no reason to assume differently in Grint’s case.
I’m reminded of discussions I’ve heard among women about what word should a person use to refer to a woman he or she doesn’t know. Say a store clerk or an auto mechanic. There was absolutely no overlap in preferences. One woman hated “ma’am” and much preferred “lady”; another hated “lady” and much preferred “ma’am”; similar disagreement about “miss”. What several of them were envisioning in regard to the disliked terms were men being obnoxious and using the term in a taunting way, rather than as a simple term of address.
As I understand it, many words now considered epithets were simply descriptive words or identifying words that became used in a taunting way by those who wished to disparage the target.
“many words now considered epithets were simply descriptive words or identifying words that became used in a taunting way”
There is a “White Man Pass” & there was a “Chinaman’s Peak” in the Rockies west of Calgary. Only the latter name became problematic.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ha_Ling_Peak
Who knows whether Grint ever entertained sexual thoughts about JKR. We’re not in his head and he’s unlikely to ever admit to it if he did. He certainly wouldn’t be the first boy from 10 upward to look on a mother/Auntie figure in such a way. Just witness Radcliffe’s note to Helena Bonham Carter. That was sent when he was around 20, but refers to feelings he had as a much younger chap. I mean, the situation is so common it’s a literary trope. It appears in psychology, and I bet most men being honest would admit to having had at least momentary and sometimes sustained hots for an older female figure in their lives (female relative, club leader, church member, teacher, celebrity etc).
Yeah I can’t really get about on this one. For one, my childhood neighbour kids called my mum auntie because she did a fair bit of babysitting of them, and it was certainly not an insult then; for another, it remains that Rupert is definitely the least hostile of the trio towards JKR. It seems needless to pile on for an issue of wording that might be scornful, but then again might not be.