Er ner nert mersgernderd

Oh joy an opportunity for self-promotion!

Fame at last – Newsweek!!

A video by transgender actress Tommy Dorfman, in which she accuses Delta Air Lines Employees of “intentionally” misgendering her, quickly went viral and sparked a fiery debate on social media.

He’s an obvious guy. People who work for airlines have to deal with a lot of people, most of them stressed, all day every day. They don’t have time or mental space to remember to use the wrong third-person pronouns for this one narcissistic guy who is holding up the line to pitch a fit at them.

Dorfman, who played Ryan Shaver in the Netflix drama series 13 Reasons Why, came out as a transgender woman in 2021. The 31-year-old actress shared a roughly 30-second clip to her TikTok over the weekend, showing part of the altercation. In the video, Dorfman said while ;he was] at LaGuardia Airport in New York City several Delta employees, including one she identified as “Tristan,” intentionally misgendered her “multiple” times.

Nobody cares. It doesn’t matter. Shut up. Get on the plane, put your bag in the overhead compartment, sit down, and shut up.

Comments

17 responses to “Er ner nert mersgernderd”

  1. GW Avatar
    GW

    This actually confused me. I was looking at the picture, and it was an obvious man; but the headline said “his”, and I know that headlines refer to “trans” people with the wrong-sex pronouns, so I looked again at the picture and thought: “Oh wait, is that actually a woman? I guess I’m not so good at seeing people’s sex.”

    Then I saw that the headline, or rather the Tweet, was from Reduxx, one of the few publications to use proper-sex pronouns.

  2. Ophelia Benson Avatar

    Heh yes I had the same momentary confusion. Good ol’ Reduxx.

  3. J.A. Avatar
    J.A.

    If so-called “misgendering” causes such trauma, it’s odd to see how gleefully those who are traumatized post videos of it on social media. So I don’t buy that they’re victims at all, but instead narcissists who want attention to be paid to them while pretending to be victims. This guy is just acting out and needs to grow up, get on the plane, and get on with it.

  4. Sorbus Avatar
    Sorbus

    As some people have pointed out, all this plus the airport workers likely have correct / mismatching name and sex details on the screen in front of them. What a minefield these narcissists have set up, ready to capture on video

  5. Ophelia Benson Avatar

    It’s the best fun they’ve ever had!

  6. Sastra Avatar
    Sastra

    J.A., that’s an excellent point. If being reminded of your sex really crushed your self-image and caused pain and embarrassment, you wouldn’t broadcast the situation. So they might be narcissists— or they might just be ideologues, thoroughly caught up in what they believe to be a grand civil rights campaign and confident of immediate support.

    For some reason, REDUXX magazine has blocked me.

  7. Your Name's not Bruce? Avatar
    Your Name’s not Bruce?

    So I don’t buy that they’re victims at all, but instead narcissists who want attention to be paid to them while pretending to be victims.

    In his own mind he thinks he’s like some civil-rights era protestor, fighting injustice. Everyone else sees this little performance as a career crippling ad that says “I’M GOING TO BE DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH. HIRE ME AND BE PREPARED TO BOW TO MY DEMANDS.” Casting directors, if they’re smart, will look for someone else. You don’t get to demand a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed until you’re as big as Van Halen.

  8. twiliter Avatar
    twiliter

    Nobody cares. It doesn’t matter. Shut up. Get on the plane, put your bag in the overhead compartment, sit down, and shut up.

    Exactly. That’s standard procedure for most folks. I hope they boycott Delta, TRA-free flights are fine with me.

  9. James Garnett Avatar
    James Garnett

    People who work for airlines have to deal with a lot of people, most of them stressed, all day every day. They don’t have time or mental space to remember to use the wrong third-person pronouns for this one narcissistic guy who is holding up the line to pitch a fit at them.

    That’s just it, isn’t it? All the trans can think about is their own precious feels and their sense of entitlement. The notion of having empathy for an unhappy, overworked, stressed-out airline worker is just beyond them. I bet that this guy also sees fit to rail and scream at his overworked server in a restaurant during the busiest part of the dinner rush, and then probably doesn’t tip with anything but a note saying “PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MEEE” on the credit slip.

  10. twiliter Avatar
    twiliter

    Delta rep. says “Are you ready for me to escort you out of the building?” :D

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

  11. Lady Mondegreen Avatar
    Lady Mondegreen

    Casting directors, take note. This guy is a pain in the ass.

  12. Arcadia Avatar
    Arcadia

    I was watching Undercover Boss recently. An obvious trans woman was on, complaining about being repeatedly “misgendered” (looked like a man, sounded like a man, doing a physically demanding job in a way that an actual woman would more likely struggle with, only encounters strangers for a few seconds at a time). The boss had all the sympathy for him, having a new work uniform embroidered for him, with his chosen name and “she/her” on it. The TW cries, says he feels so affirmed and “now I won’t be misgendered anymore”. And I just. *sigh* The lack of pronouns on your uniform are not why people called you he, him, dude, and that man. That happened because you obviously are a man. And you obviously still are a man, and lots of people will never look at your pronoun shirt, they’ll just hear your voice, see your face and know you’re a man. End of. Years of hormone therapy notwithstanding.

  13. Your Name's not Bruce? Avatar
    Your Name’s not Bruce?

    And you obviously still are a man, and lots of people will never look at your pronoun shirt, they’ll just hear your voice, see your face and know you’re a man. End of. Years of hormone therapy notwithstanding.

    Sympathetic friends and family who don’t want to rock the boat are unlikey to tell them this truth. Medical gender-affirming “caregivers” are even less likely to rain on their own gravy train, though it must be a delicate balancing act between offering encouragement by suggesting “progress” is being made, and keeping them on the hook for the next proceedure, and the next….

  14. Domino Avatar
    Domino

    Has anyone called him a Karen for trying to get two PoC employees in trouble with their work yet?

  15. Papito Avatar
    Papito

    @Domino, that would be gender-affirming, wouldn’t it?

  16. maddog1129 Avatar
    maddog1129

    I would not have had the sustained interest to be camera-ready to record every incidence of “misgendering.” He is spoiling for this fight.

  17. Karen the chemist Avatar
    Karen the chemist

    Re Van Halen and brown M&Ms:

    The brown M&M instruction was a test. Were those assembling the stage following the instructions, so the stage would be set up properly, and the venue’s facilities could handle it (weight & etc).

    Googling “Van Halen and brown M&M” brings up reports about it.