Narwhal narwhal…
Oh no! What damn fools have been cheering on the Orcas?! They’ll be up here ramming our windows next! What were people thinking?!!
Orcas are not on social media? Oh come on now – I like a contrarian as much as the next person but there’s a limit.
Nice choice of title! (Should be “narwhals,” plural, though, to rhyme with the body part the singer want them to touch.)
DOESN’T want them to touch.
Jesus, what species of whale wouldn’t have grounds for a grudge against us?
No, they aren’t our friends, and you can’t trust them –
https://youtu.be/cHYmRIdf4dA
They aren’t even whales – they’re Flipper’s badass cousins,
lol
See also bear-human encounters.
There are some places in Banff National Park where you are required to go in groups above a certain number (5 IIRC) because there are no records of bear attacks on human groups larger than that.
Similarly keeping your food in bear proof containers is required. “A fed bear is a dead bear”
Also moose and elk during the rutting season. Males become extremely dangerous.
Lots of sea lions on social media, though.