Pronoun fatigue

This is hilarious, if only Pink News could see it. Demi Lovato stopped “using gender neutral pronouns” because omigod it was so exhausting. I’m pretty sure I know why it was so exhausting.

Demi Lovato, who now uses both she/her and they/them pronouns, publicly came out as non-binary with a preference for they/them pronouns in a moving video in May 2021, just weeks after coming out as pansexual.

Oh I bet that was tremendously moving. It’s always moving watching narcissists tell us all about their pronouns and opinions and struggles and feelings. It’s especially moving that it was just weeks after she came out as pansexual. We should all start coming out as things; apparently it’s very important and moving. I’ll start: I’m coming out as fond of sunsets.

Since then, the “Cool for the Summer” singer has reflected on their gender fluidity as feeling “equally masculine and feminine” and their approach to keeping their identity “open and free” as their gender evolves over time.

Oh oh oh have they? That sounds so unique and fascinating and profound and new.

In May 2022, they made headlines again after quietly updating their pronouns to include she/her again on their Instagram bio. At the time they clarified that they weren’t “paying attention” to the reaction of “ignorant people”, and later added that the pronoun change was due to “feeling more feminine” in an interview with Tamara Dhia on the Spout podcast.

They made headlines? For that? Really?

“I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns. It was absolutely exhausting,” the 30-year-old singer-songwriter told GQ.

“I just got tired. But for that very reason I know that it is important to continue spreading the word.”

No wait hang on. It’s the other way around. The reason it was so absolutely exhausting is that you were talking complete bullshit. That’s why you had to keep explaining. You see? If you decide to have boutique pronouns for yourself, and you run around announcing the fact, people are going to ask questions. If you want a quiet life without question-exhaustion, skip the boutique parts of speech. It works wonders.

Elsewhere in the interview, they shared their exhaustion at the lack of gender-neutral spaces and the difficulties navigating everyday life as a genderqueer person forced to conform to binary ideas of gender.

“I face this every day,” the Grammy-nominated artist continued. “For example, in public toilets. Having to access the women’s bathroom, even though I don’t completely identify with it.”

Jesus christ. I’ve run out of scornful jokes. These people are so pathetic. Go donate to Ukrainian refugees, campaign against fossile fuels (without glueing yourself to any art works), climb a mountain, watch a sunset, read a book. Do things that aren’t about you.

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