She quickly explained

This is in the Guardian?? Oooooh she gonna be in TRUBble.

I have some inspiring news for heterosexuals who may be struggling with their lifestyle choices: Dannii Minogue has bravely come out as straight.

She has a long-term boyfriend, see, but she was doing a presser and was asked if she fancies women.

Minogue replied: “You girls are hot. You know it. I love it. I’m here for it. Is that an answer?” Not really, to be honest. Still, she also helpfully clarified that she identifies “as queer in a weird way”.

Whoops, the Australian singer obviously thought, when she looked at the papers the next day and saw a million headlines along the lines of “Dannii Minogue ‘fights back tears’ as she announces she identifies as queer”. She quickly explained that she didn’t mean queer queer, she meant queer as in straight but spicy.

Which in turn means…well…nothing.

It’s probably fair to say that Minogue’s awkward expression of LGBTQ+ allyship was overblown by the media. But you know what? It’s also fair to think that if someone says they’re queer, that means they’re not a zero on the Kinsey scale.

Why is it fair? Because that’s one of the meanings of the word right now, hence the Q in LGBTQ.

In recent years the word queer, always an amorphous term, has become essentially meaningless. Can Straight People Be Queer? Vice asked in a 2016 article, capturing the general vibe. The answer to that seems to be: “Yes, if they’ve done their homework.” Last month, for example, Glee star Darren Criss, who is straight but played a character in a gay relationship on the show, said he’s “culturally queer”. He went on to elaborate: “The things in my life that I have tried to emulate, learn from and be inspired by are 100% queer as fuck.” So for the avoidance of future Minogue-like embarrassments, let’s all agree on this new definition, shall we? Queer now means a heterosexual who has read Oscar Wilde.

Good punchline! And to think it’s in the Graun of all places…is the giant ship beginning to turn?

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