Growing up in India, I learned that thank yous are only for distant strangers, and that close friends and family get offended if you thank them. I would say thank you to a speaker delivering a formal talk but never to a friend helping during a crisis or a family member making me dinner. But living in the UK for two decades has forced me to adopt our incessant “thank you” culture. I now find myself saying thank you at least 10 times a day and sometimes many more. Nevertheless, there are some British “thank yous” that I would ban completely, if I could.
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Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that we shouldn’t thank those who help us. The problem is that we thank too many people, often mindlessly, and innumerable times a day. Thank you, shop assistant (whose job it is to help you shop). Thank you, bus driver (who is getting paid to drive the bus). Thank you, cafe owner (whom you are paying for the food you have ordered). By what feels like the hundredth thank you of the day, the words lose their very essence.
That’s disgusting.
Of course shop assistants and bus drivers are paid; that is not a reason to withhold thanks! If anything it’s all the more reason to say thank you: to make it a human exchange as opposed to putting coins in a vending machine.
I had thought it was a Seattle thing to thank the bus driver; I’m pleased to learn it’s not. Driving a bus is hard work, and the drivers should get appreciation. They have to heave the bus around all those obstacles, and do it to schedule, and deal with people, some of whom are rude or angry or mentally ill or drunk or drugged. Yes of course we should say thank you when we hop off.
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