Hey kids, it’s time to learn about the “assumption” of “the blessed Virgin Mary” (the one that had a baby, ya know).
So get ready for the treat because heeere’s Vatican News:
The Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary was already being celebrated on 15 August in the 5th century. It bore the sense of Our Lady’s “Birth into heaven”, or in the Byzantine tradition, her “Dormition”.
The feast began to [be] celebrated in Rome in the middle of the 7th century. It was not until 1 November 1950, that Pope Pius XII proclaimed the Dogma of Mary’s assumption body and soul into heaven.
Wull…why? Why did it take so long? Why did it take six or seven (depending on how you count) centuries before the feast began to be celebrated? Why didn’t they get right down to celebrating it the minute Jesus zoomed up to sit on the left hand (or was it the right?) of Mr God? What was the holdup? Six (or seven) centuries is a long time! Imagine Mary sitting up there all disgruntled and irritated at being ignored. So typical. They probably made her clean up after dinner, too.
In the Apostles’ Creed, we profess our faith in the “Resurrection of the body” and in “life everlasting”. This is the ultimate goal and meaning of our life’s journey.
Well sure; it naturally would be if it were true. It isn’t true though. Bodies don’t get resurrected and life is very much not everlasting. Go visit an active battlefield some time and you’ll see.
This promise of faith is already accomplished in Mary, who is the “sign of sure hope and comfort” (Preface). It is a privilege granted to Mary, and closely connected to her being the Mother of Jesus.
Oh. Well if Preface says she is the sign of hope and comfort, who are we to dispute it? As for its being closely connected to being Jesus’s mommy, well no shit. What the hell else would it be connected to? Her talent for basket-weaving as a schoolgirl? Her secret recipe for fig ice cream? Her dancing?
Since death and the corruption of the human body are consequences of sin, it was not right that the Virgin Mary – who is free from sin – should be affected by this natural law.
In other words you’re making up the rules, so the rules are what you’re making up. Everybody else does sinning, but this one woman doesn’t do sinning because we want to make her The Top Best Shiny Holy one, therefore we solemnly declare that she is freefromsin. Yes really. We promise! We swear! Well not swear exactly, but we say very seriously and loudly and with no giggling.
The fact that Mary has already been assumed into heaven is a reason to celebrate, to rejoice, to hope in the “already and the not yet”.
To hope? Aren’t you supposed to be certain of all this? Isn’t that the whole ballgame? What’s this shit about hope? We don’t put chewing gum wrappers in the collection plate for hope, you know, we want cash on the table.
One of God’s creatures – Mary – is already in heaven. With her, and like her, we too, who are God’s creatures, will one day be there too.
Yeah but what about all those other people in between? You forgot to mention them. All the people who lived between Mary and now.
And when you say “one day” what do you mean? How far off is one day? Like, ten years? Hundreds? Millions? Do you actually mean it the way parents mean “Yes yes we’ll get you a race car one day” just to shut little Billy up?
The Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, body and soul, is an eloquent sign of how not only the “soul” but also the “body” is included in the biblical observation that “God found it very good” (Gn 1:31), so much so that in the Virgin Mary, “our flesh” would be assumed into heaven.
Uh huh. Sure it will. We know all this is true, because you keep saying it.
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