Wossinna name?

Written by

Ophelia Benson

in

Well why not just speed things up and rename every state, every city, every town, every river, every lake, every mountain, every forest “America”?

The tinfoil king would love to.

Trump appeared to suggest on Sunday that New Mexico should be renamed “New America,” prompting swift backlash from the state’s Democratic leaders over his latest effort to put an American stamp on geographic names.

Sir, America is already the name of the whole country. Naming everything “America” would be like naming everything “Trump”. It would look silly. You don’t want to look silly do you? Vulgar, yes, a bully, yes, but silly? What would your uncle who taught engineering at MIT say?

On social media, Mr. Trump shared an image of a map of New Mexico with the word “Mexico” crossed out with a red X and replaced with “America.” The White House re-shared the image shortly after on its official X account.

The president posted again several hours later, with what appeared to be an A.I. video of him placing a label with the word “America” over “Mexico” on a “Welcome to New Mexico” road sign.

Mr. Trump has no legal authority to rename any state, which in New Mexico’s case is written into its Constitution. Any proposed change would have to originate within the state, a prospect that New Mexico’s Democratic leaders rejected forcefully on Sunday.

The words “Trump has no legal authority” don’t mean anything to Trump. They might as well be in Urdu.

Comments

6 responses to “Wossinna name?”

  1. twiliter Avatar
    twiliter

    Rename New York instead, that’s where he was spawned.

  2. Papito Avatar
    Papito

    I think New Mexico should proclaim it has renamed Trump.

  3. Mostly Cloudy Avatar
    Mostly Cloudy

    Rename the White House “Mr. Tinytinyhands’ Mansion”.

  4. Acolyte of Sagan Avatar
    Acolyte of Sagan

    Next up:

    I, your Favourite President Donald J. Trump do hereby declare and order that all copies of the Heretical (un)Holy Bible and the (un)Holy books of all false religions (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and all the funny ones like Hindu and Buddhist) be destroyed forthwith.

    I have ordered a new Bible of America to be published which will form the Basis of the One True Religion – the Great and Beautiful official and only Legal Religion of The United States of Trump. The changes are few but IMPORTANT in stamping out long standing Blasphemy. All mentions of (the False) Gods have been replaced by the correct Name of the TRUE GOD – DONALD J. TRUMP. All mentions of Satan and any and all Nasty demons have been replaced with the Names of the True Evil Ones – Obama, Clinton, Harris, Boden. Also, I have done away with the Loony-Left Liberal Communist Socialist propaganda known as the New (lying) Testament.

    Ownership of the Bible of America is Mandatory. Details of how to Buy them can be found on The Trump Organisation website.

    Thank you for your Attention to this Matter.

  5. Bjarte Foshaug Avatar
    Bjarte Foshaug

    Oh, it’s way too late for Trump to avoid looking silly. The only way to not look silly is to not be silly, which basically rules out being Trump. Indeed, since he loves having things named after himself, I suggest naming the ISO unit of silliness a «Trump». Of course the orange one himself is the only person to ever reach a Trump of silliness. The combined silliness of the rest of the universe would have to be measured in Microtrumps.

  6. Francis Boyle Avatar
    Francis Boyle

    Canonically the standard unit of silliness is, of course, the Python. (Like the Farad it’s a very large unit and typical values will be expressed in milliPys.) Silliness can be creative – what you’re talking about plain old stupidity (though I will admit that, in a perverse way, Trump elevates it to an art form).

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