The Complete and Total

Hand it over or I’ll shoot the kid.

In a Truth Social post this weekend, President Trump gave an ultimatum to Europe: If they didn’t allow “the Complete and Total purchase” of Greenland, he would slap tariffs on a group of European countries, 10 percent in February, and then 25 percent in June.

European leaders responded that they would not be bullied.

Prime Minister Keir Starmer of Britain called the ultimatum “completely wrong.” President Emmanuel Macron of France went so far as to say Europe should retaliate with the strongest trade tool at its disposable: activating a regulation that could restrict the access of American companies to the E.U. market.

Within hours of the post, members of the European Parliament announced that they would freeze the ratification of Europe’s trade deal with Trump. European leaders are set to hold an extraordinary meeting in the coming days to try to agree on a response to Trump’s threats.

Maybe someone could have a meeting with him, try to appease him? It just might work.

Trump argues that the U.S. needs to control Greenland as a bulwark against Chinese and Russian ambitions in the Arctic. But the U.S. already has the right to expand its military presence in Greenland under a 1951 agreement with Denmark.

Whatever. Trump wants to control Greenland because he’s a wants to control kind of guy. To put it in the vernacular, he’s a bully, and he’s thrilled that he gets to take his bullying hobby to the world stage. He’s having a blast. This is like breaking the glasses of a million nerds at a time.

Comments

7 responses to “The Complete and Total”

  1. Your Name's not Bruce? Avatar
    Your Name’s not Bruce?

    The main difference between the kind of access to Greenland the US currently has by way of treaty, and “owning” it, is that under the latter, Trump figures he can loot it.

  2. Omar Avatar

    Drumpf (his real name before he started blowing his toy Trump et) is saying “Let’s have a trade war and see where it leads. Could be kinda fun.!”

    Yeah, right.

    https://edition.cnn.com/2026/01/18/business/europe-greenland-trump-tariffs-trade

  3. Sumi Avatar

    Greenland is the least densely populated country, so give Trump some credit. He’s got eyes on the place with the most Lebensraum.

  4. GW Avatar

    Hahah, just wait until he learns that the reason most of it is uninhabited is that it’s simply unihabitable.

  5. Sackbut Avatar

    Nit re: “Drumpf (his real name before he started blowing his toy Trump et)”

    He had ancestors named Drumpf, but his family name was Trump for many generations, dating back to the 18th century.

  6. Omar Avatar

    Ah, so. And noted.

  7. Bjarte Foshaug Avatar
    Bjarte Foshaug

    Francis Fukuyama has some words of wisdom to offer the leaders of Europe. They are not going to listen, but they should.

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