All shall have prizes

Turmoil at the Miss Universe Pageant:

The Miss Universe pageant is once again embroiled in controversy, this time because all contest losers have identified as winners, demanding that the pageant’s organizers recognize their subjective identities as objective truth.

Dozens of contestants came out as winners, but the allegedly open and inclusive pageant organizers refused to crown all of them champions in keeping with their internally felt reality.

“It’s bigoted and disgusting,” said one woman from South America. “Despite the fact that I have declared myself to be a winner, as my feelings have dictated, they have thus far refused to crown me Miss Universe along with Miss Philippines. It’s 2018, people.”

What kind of “inclusive” pageant is that? Excluding everyone from winning except one cis-winner person is exclusionary and runnerupphobic.

5 Responses to “All shall have prizes”