They can dish it out but they can’t take it.

Americans in the UK have been warned to “keep a low profile” during this week’s visit of their president, Donald Trump, as the US embassy in London says demonstrations against the event could turn violent.

Oh  yes, definitely, and when they do turn violent they will attempt to exterminate Americans. Furthermore, all Americans in the UK are visibly unmistakably American, thanks to the neon YANK sign they are required to have permanently screwed onto their heads as a condition of entry. It’s a scary scary scary time to be a person of USitude in the UK.

“Be aware of your surroundings [and] exercise caution if unexpectedly in the vicinity of large gatherings that may become violent,” the US embassy warned.


Stay home.

Lock the doors and windows.

Hide under the bed.

In their warning on Tuesday, the embassy told American citizens to expect the largest demonstration in central London on Friday 13 July, when organisers hope tens of thousands of people will be on the streets. A “Trump baby” balloon is also due to fly over central London that morning.

And it will probably be dropping bombs on the people it detects as American.

US officials in London added that, besides keeping their heads down, people should also keep an eye on local media and heed any police advice. “Several of the events are expected to attract large crowds and there will be road closures in connection with those events,” they said.

Really they’d better nip over to the Continent for a few days.

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