If his next girlfriend is a cis woman

Huh? What? What have women done wrong this time?

Diana Tourjée

Dear cis women, Your boyfriend & your brother like trans girls. When you find that out, I hope you remember what happened to these men after women in their lives shamed & rejected them. The stories in this piece are devastating, & sickeningly normal.

“This piece” was written by none other than Diana Tourjée.

It’s the story of Owen, whose girlfriend got so mad at him when she found out he lusted after trans women.

He’d love to have a healthy, public relationship with a trans woman. But it feels unlikely. He doesn’t really know where to meet trans women, and if his next girlfriend is a cis woman, he expects to keep this secret from her. The trauma of being shamed by his ex has marked him with paranoia. If found out again, he’s afraid he’d be ostracized completely, “scarlet letter style.”

Poor sad Owen! Mean Owen’s cis ex, who shamed him.

Owen is one of countless men who are attracted to trans women but are too afraid to say so publicly. I’ve reported on this for years, but the coverage rarely draws these men out of hiding. In July, though, an interview I conducted with four straight guys inspired many such men to speak up, across the internet, onto countless social media timelines, and in emails to me. Their reasons for hiding may seem obvious, a blend of homophobia and a fear of being stripped of their masculinity.

Countless, eh? That’s a convenient number.

Anyway, the point is, everybody is doing everything wrong, except for trans women.

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