We just want to share with you some thoughts from the Bible
I wrote a column for The Freethinker about being interrupted by Jehovah’s Witnesses the other day.
Barry Duke, the editor, provided fine illustrations.
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I wrote a column for The Freethinker about being interrupted by Jehovah’s Witnesses the other day.
Barry Duke, the editor, provided fine illustrations.
I live in an area with a high proportion of Muslim residents. Why don’t they feel the need to preach to me an convert me? Why is it only the fringiest Christian sects who need to keep filling the funnel?
My Ba’hai neighbours did invite me to a meeting once, and I was nodding in agreement with all their principles until they got to the bits about extra-marital sex (no) and gay sex (no). Why is religion always about who does what with whom?
Roj, I get the same treatment from my Lutheran neighbors, and there are a lot of those around here. The Catholics (also abundant) will attempt to convince me they are right if the topic comes up, but the Lutherans seem to find it necessary to go door to door and invite me to their church. I think I have terrified them now, though. I tell them I’m an atheist. The eyes get big, the voices get small, and the feet get moving.
Possibly because they know what’s coming next. They could face being put through a decontamination process; probably involving numerous prayers, spells, incantations and the rest, followed by close monitoring of their movements, contacts, the works; by their Elders. Total immersion for some time in Holy Water could also be involved. Perhaps while fully clothed. Perhaps freezing Holy Water, as the Devil only likes boiling hot.
Religions tend to work that way.
I treat the door the same way I treat the phone: If I don’t recognize you/your number, I’m not opening up or picking up.
The illustrations ARE fine – they get those vapid, sickly, subtly manipulative religious smiles very well…
I invite them in.
Smile. Offer them something to drink. Ask them some questions I’m puzzled about. Such as “if everyone the Jehovah’s Witnesses fails to witness to will hear the Truth from Jesus Himself in the afterlife — and then be given their opportunity to accept Christ— does that mean the two of you are just as persuasive as Jesus? If not, wouldn’t more people be saved if you all just skipped proselytizing? If so, do the JWs then become as God? Very curious thing, that.”
Fun and games. Plus, an opportunity to have a discussion and learn how people think, maybe get surprised. I’ve had a few of them stick around for a while. I suspect they’re relieved to sit down and talk about something off script. If they’re really interested in their theology they seem to appreciate a friendly back and forth. One gentleman told me “Gee, nobody ever lets me do this…”
I know I’m an outlier on this issue, but I find the idea of unexpected strangers wanting to converse on the meaning of life rather charming on the whole. I’ve had some interesting talks.
They don’t come back, though. Come to think of it, it’s been many years since any church at all came around. I must have been put on some list, I guess. Pity.
Sastra, I think that’s great. But my story of JW is nowhere near so charming. Since I detailed it earlier, I’ll skip going through it again, but the JW visitors are never going to get past my porch. I might consider talking to Mormons just for the weirdness value, but they never knock on our door. We see them on their bicycles going up and down our street, but I’ve never seen them stop to talk to anyone.
The Lutherans are the big deal here; I have engaged some of them in conversation. They routinely ask “How do you explain all this? The grass, the trees, the birds?” My usual answer is “Organic chemistry and evolution, coupled with the ability to be unsure”.
Years ago when I was living in Spain a couple of Mormons knocked on our door and trying to convey in very heavily accented Spanish something about the LDS. I took pity on them and told them I was American, and they could speak English with me. They were clearly relieved and immediately dropped the pretense and turned back into young ex-pats missing their home and telling me how “rad” Salt Lake City is.
As it happens, I have to go to SLC next week; I’ll finally get a chance to find out if they were right.
What a Maroon, I’ve been to SLC. My response? There are mountains. What more do you need?
Booze? (I’ll be in a hotel conference room most of the time anyway; no chance to head to the mountains.)
You want booze? In a Mormon town? Good luck.
(We had booze. It was an American Atheist’s convention. They always have booze.)