Siri, re-open America

It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m sure it will be fine.

Fox News White House correspondent John Roberts reported on Monday that President Donald Trump will soon announce a council to re-open the U.S. economy amid the coronavirus pandemic, a plan that was quickly ripped apart on Twitter.

Is Fox News Trump’s press secretary now? Because if not why is Fox News announcing such things instead of a press secretary or other member of Trump’s administration?

The current members of the council to “re-open America” include Mark Meadows, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Steven Mnuchin, Larry Kudlow, Robert Lighthizer, and Wilbur Ross, none of whom are experts in medicine, science, or public health.

Also, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner aren’t experts in anything. They’re just crooks, who work for their crook relatives.

Ross, on Jan. 30, said that the pandemic would bring jobs back to the U.S. And on March 6, Kudlow said the virus was “contained.” Those two men, along with the commander-in-chief’s daughter and son-in-law, will comprise a majority of the group charged with what Trump himself has termed the “most important decision” of his presidency — the call to determine when America will reopen.

But here’s the good news: they won’t actually decide anything, they’ll just do whatever Trump screams at them to do.

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