Can we wait until things are a bit calmer?

One of the more annoying thought-terminating clichés of the moment is the “please, let’s not talk about the roots of misogynist violence now when the news is fresh, lets give the families time to mourn” one.

I say this because I’m grinding my teeth over one I just saw.

Joan was on Womans Hour because she has a new book on the subject, and because the Home Office has heeded her advice. But behold, a man appears.

I’ll refrain from sharing his actual tweets, but I’ll damn well quote what he said, because I find it so annoying.

Hi Joan, I agree with you on extreme misogyny and radicalisation but can we wait until things are a bit calmer? My parents live a stone’s throw from there – these are raw wounds for the people of Plymouth.

Of course they’re raw wounds for the people of Plymouth, but what’s that got to do with Joan Smith talking about policy on Twitter? Are the people of Plymouth going to be made more upset by Joan’s tweets?

Of course not! And what do this guy’s parents have to do with anything? What does their proximity to the exact spot have to do with anything?

Bupkis. I think he just grabbed the opportunity to say something pious. And the pious (stupid) thing he said amounts to saying can we wait to talk about this until no one is paying attention? And the answer is no, you fucking fool, because the whole point is for people to pay attention.

He amplified:

I fundamentally agree that it should be talked about beforehand. Misogyny and the violence associated with it is a dangerous and worrying trend in society. But I feel like leaving it a few days so the families can mourn the victims is appropriate.

Again: that’s stupid. It’s a cliché, for some reason, and it’s utterly stupid. It’s become a conventional thing to say, and why? I don’t know, I guess because people enjoy saying pious stupid things. It’s stupid because talking about the connection between violence and misogyny does not in any way interfere with anyone’s mourning.

If advertisers were hammering on the doors of people who are mourning the victims to offer promotion opportunities, that would be interfering with the mourning. But public discussion? Don’t be ridiculous.

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