Ontological repetition

That depends on what you mean by that innocent little word “be.”

Looked at one way it’s just an empty platitude. Looked at another way it’s an insulting lie. Suzanne Moore looks at it that second way.

The right way to react to this ridiculous mantra is surely to feel murderous. What is this slogan for? Who is it for? These endless attempts at inclusivity mean that being a woman can now even be a feeling in a man’s head. Eddie Izzard, I saw the other day, had been voted the best female comedian. Sorry, but I am not laughing.

There is no wrong way to be a woman. Are they serious? Let me list the ways. I and many women live with them every single day.

One of them is to live in fear. One woman is killed every three days in this country – a figure which has become much higher in lockdown.

And many more women are raped, groped, slapped, punched, beaten up, strangled – you get the idea. There are some drawbacks to being the weaker member of a dimorphic species.

Another wrong way to be a woman is to refuse to stop talking about what it is like living in a female body: periods, endometriosis, childbirth, miscarriage, infertility, menopause and that icky stuff. Speaking of this apparently excludes those women whose bodies don’t do those things.

And the response is torrents of threats to punch slap strangle kill the women who exclude “those” women. There’s always some good reason to get violent with the nearest woman.

Another very wrong way to be a woman is to think of yourself as more than a collection of body parts: lactators, menstruators, birthers, cervix havers. You do have to wonder what the word “woman” even means now that some organisations have banned us from saying it altogether.

One thing is clear though – if you are a woman the message you receive from birth is that you are pretty much always doing it wrong. That you will never be good enough.

But if you’re a man who identifies as a woman…you will always be good enough.

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