An apple a day

Oh isn’t that sweet – Princess Ivanka handing out apples to The Poor.

For sure. She’s not the crook child of a crook father, she’s not the corrupt daughter who gave herself a nepotistic job in the White House when her corrupt daddy was pretend-president, she’s not the object of an investigation by the New York DA, she’s a sweet dainty young girl who carries big boxes around in a snowy landscape and then tells us about it on social media. Arwa Mahdawi has a good laugh.

Ever since her father lost his job as president and she lost her job as special advisor to the president, Ivanka has been keeping a low profile in Miami and largely staying off social media.

On Tuesday, however, the former first daughter posted on Instagram and Twitter for the first time in eight months, showing off photos of herself distributing free food boxes to families upstate New York.

Not that that’s why she went there, you understand. Not that the whole point was the photo op. No no no no no, she does that kind of thing regularly. At least once a year. By the way is there anything in that big box she’s schlepping? She’s certainly carrying it as if it’s weightless. Maybe there are a few napkins in it.

Why would she stage a photo op right when the New York DA announces she’s being investigated? Gee, that’s a puzzler.

(Remember that story from a high school friend who recommended Richard Russo’s Empire Falls to Princess Ivanka and got told off for thinking the Princess might want to read a book about “fucking poor people”? That too is upstate New York. Funny coincidence.)

In short, you can see why Ivanka – who has always managed her personal brand a lot more carefully than her blowhard brothers have – might decide now would be a good time to post photos online of her benevolently helping the poor.

Because she’s stupid. If she weren’t stupid, she would realize what such a photo op at such a time would look like, and realize it was too late. She’s so stupid she thinks a photo op on the very day the DA announces the investigation is a wise move.

There aren’t enough eye roll emojis in the world.

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