Eye-lasers Man
Even funnier than the Director for Lived Experience – Trump with muscles:
Former US President Donald Trump has launched a collection of digital trading cards depicting him in various guises including a superhero, astronaut and Nascar driver.
There’s just one problem. He’s fat, and lazy, and clumsy, and a chickenshit. I suppose you could say those are four problems but I think it’s more efficient to bundle them into one “He’s not that guy.” He doesn’t stomp around in pseudo-military pants shooting ducks, and he doesn’t have that muscle definition under his business suit. He talks endlessly and stupidly, and he throws catsup at walls: that’s it, that’s the extent of his superpowerhood.
Mr Trump said: “These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my Life & Career!”
Art. Sure, bro, right up there with Rembrandt and Vermeer.
Last month, the billionaire launched his third bid for the White House.
He triggered speculation this week after saying he would make a “major announcement”.
Some gullible people thought he was going to announce a running mate.
Instead, Mr Trump posted a promotional video on his social media platform, Truth Social.
The clip featured an animated version of the former president in front of the Trump Tower in New York, who rips open his shirt to reveal a superhero costume emblazoned with the letter T as lasers shoot from his eyes.
This is a grown man, not a five-year-old. A grown man who once had some frightening responsibilities. Let’s not ever do that again.
Later on Truth Social Mr Trump said the non-fungible tokens (NFTs) were “very much like a baseball card, but hopefully much more exciting”. He added that the cards, costing $99 (£81) each, “would make a great Christmas gift”.
Buyers will also be entered into a sweepstake, with the chance of winning prizes including a gala dinner or a game of golf with Mr Trump.
Those are prizes?
And he was recently asked if he’d take up arms to defend the country against an invader like Zelensky has in Ukraine, and he basically answered “no (I’m a coward)”.*
*His response was some mumbling about “bravery” and how nobody knew how they’d react in that kind of a situation.
“Very much like a baseball card”? Can you stick an NFT between the spokes of your bicycle wheel?
“These limited edition cards feature shitty Photoshopped images of things I’ve never done, and jobs I’ve never had!”
So, a chance to share gala hamberders with TFG, and being cheated at golf by TFG. Yep, those would make great Christmas presents for someone you don’t like .
When I first saw the “major announcement” I thought he meant that the collection was $99, which was bad enough (and made worse by the sweepstake prizes.)
They’re $99 each!
How many suckers are going to “invest” in that?
Sold Out
Every so often during 2016-20, my partner and I would read the latest bit of Trumpiness, look at each other, and say “This man controls the nukes.” Those weren’t good times.
These cards are so very, very, very bad — tacky and cringeworthy and embarrassing— that for one crazy moment (brief, mind you) I actually wondered if Trump has a sense of humor.
Yes, they’re that bad.
Bad? Bad? I beg to differ. These are a wellspring of inspiration… Though not of the kind he’s hoping for. Tomorrow, for example, I’m releasing a supplemental set of my own. I doubt I’m alone in this.
Like this one Pliny? >> https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/90be23/trumpputin_2020/
Makes the Dutch tulip-mania of the 17th century look completely sane and rational.
Mike@4 &@5, what an excellent demonstration of separating fools from their money!
YNNB – Sadly I couldn’t view your link, however, as a tease, one of mine is entitled ‘Comboverman’. Able to subdue adversaries with a flick of his head…
Another guy who frequently appears in all sorts of ridiculous hero poses is, of course, Donnie’s old friend and role model Vladimir Putin. Probably where he got the idea from in the first place…
James, we’re pretty good at spotting it when it’s done by someone else, but not so good at doing it for ourselves.
It’s simple really.
First prize: a game of golf with Trump. Second prize: two games of golf with Trump. Third prize: three games. And so on…. Sure to attract plenty of keen starters.
RUMPTOWER!
Is all that about selling out and wild prices TRUE???
Near as I can tell, Ophelia. I think that the big advantage is that unlike actual physical cards, Mom can’t toss them out when you move away to college (based on a true story.) A j-peg, while it can’t be used as a book mark in your copy of “Art of the Deal,” it can be transferred to your secure wallet in the Cloud
I don’t know if any use for it beyone that other than to display that you paid big money for an ephemeral photo with a watermark.
@Omar, I would prefer any one of the three prizes from Glengarry, Glen Ross:
1. A brand new Cadillac
2. A set of steak knives
and, this would appeal to Trump fans:
3. You’re fucking fired.
I’m a shit golfer, since I never do it, but Trump would cheat anyway. As for lunch, I would want two scoops of ice cream, but Donnie would say “No.”
No Mike, that’s not the way this works. I’m sure that there’s a clause in the contest rules that stipulates that whatever the winner eats, Trump gets more of it. So you’d get your two scoops, but Donnie would get three. As for me, I think being anywhere near TFG would put me off my lunch altogether.
“Whatever you wish for, Donald Trump gets two of them.”
“I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.”