His

It turns out that buying children can get expensive.

A heartbroken Dublin dad “cried the whole plane journey home”, after he had to leave his surrogate triplets in Kenya.

His what? What the hell are surrogate triplets?

Edward O’Reilly, who lives in Santry Cross, left the African country with just the birth certificates rather than his three newborn daughters.

His? Isn’t there someone missing from this scenario?

Briella, Camilla, and Renesmee were born almost two months prematurely on September 1. Edward and his partner flew over to collect their children four days later. 

His partner? Their children? The children were born in Kenya while their parents were in Ireland? How does that work?

Also why were they thinking they could just “collect” two months premature triplets as if they were so many grapefruits?

They used a surrogacy service which cost €50,000 and were told all expenses were covered in the initial payment. However, they were asked for a further €16,000 when they arrived.

Ohhhhhhhh you mean they rented a woman to gestate and push out the babies for them. How very elegant.

Then they were asked for another €12,000 in hospital bills for the babies’ medication and food, along with an extra €11,000 to pay the medics. They cannot bring their daughters home until these costs are paid. 

Aw jeez that’s so unfair. You should be able to buy babies cheaply. Also Kenya should pay for their medical needs, obviously.

“It’s like a nightmare. We wanted to be parents and now that we finally are, we’re not allowed to have our babies,” Edward said.

Except they finally aren’t. Someone else did all the work of “being parents” so far, and she hasn’t even rated a mention in this disgusting article. She might as well be a machine.

“From the beginning, we always knew we were going to be a family. We talked about having a kid on our first date and we’re together six years now.

“Last March, we finally started contacting agencies. We thought we could do it and we could afford it. Our family members were willing to help and put a few bob together.”

Agencies. That’s how people have babies, you know: they contact agencies.

great. Everything was going to plan, the clinic was really nice, everything looked perfect.

“We found out that we were pregnant this March. In June we were told it was triplets and we were absolutely ecstatic,” Edward (33) said.

Jesus fucking christ. They weren’t pregnant; a woman in Kenya whom they still haven’t mentioned was pregnant.

“But we also knew there could be health complications during the pregnancy. Through those months we prayed every day for the surrogate and that she’d be okay.”

There it is at last: the first mention of the fully human being – “the surrogate” – who made their baby for them.

The rest of the story is that there were big medical bills, which is not particularly surprising with very premature triplets, and he couldn’t pay them, and here’s his Go Fund Me. What about “the surrogate”? Nothing. Not a word. She’s just a machine.

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