Tips went down, abuse went up
Wait what? The Guardian has a category called Living in a woman’s body? How is that possible? Isn’t it totally…………………..transphobic?
At any rate, the current entry is Living in a woman’s body: hospitality workers have always suffered abuse. In the pandemic, it got worse. It’s written by Saru Jayaraman, whose lived experience may have left her somewhat less impressed by Gender Mythology than your average Owen and Jolyon and Adrian.
After working as a bartender in Washington DC for many years, Ifeoma Ezumaki’s body reached its limit during the pandemic. For Ezumaki and millions of other restaurant employees, working during the pandemic – often, in the US, for a “sub-minimum” wage – became a source of immeasurable suffering. Tips went down because sales went down, while customer harassment and hostility went up. Ezumaki and her colleagues had to become public health marshals, in addition to cocktail servers; she was asked to enforce social distancing, mask wearing and even vaccination requirements.
A customer at the bar “asked” her to pull her mask down so that he could inspect her face, and when she declined, told her she wouldn’t be eating that night.
The comment exemplified the power that some male customers, managers and even colleagues feel they have over women’s bodies in the restaurant industry. While Ezumaki and her colleagues wished to protect their bodies and the bodies of their families by wearing a mask, many male customers made it clear that they believed they had the right to control female waiters’ bodies, particularly when the waiters were dependent on tips. Many have reported male customers asking them to take off their masks so that they can judge their looks – and tip on that basis.
And, as the emphasis on bodies underlines, this is a form of harassment and domination particular to women. The kind of man who bullies women like that is not looking for trans women’s bodies. Men aren’t as easy to bully, because of male puberty.
Verbal threats are the ‘assault’ part of ‘assault and battery’ and to my knowledge are illegal in all jurisdictions worth living in. If the manager wants the customer’s trade so much that he refuses to do anything about it (and it will be far more likely a male manager in that situation than a female one) then the next step is to go over his head and complain to his boss.
A good guidng principle for employees IMHO is ‘never resign; not even in protest. Always make them sack you.’ That puts you in the far stronger moral position for taking it further.
I used to work in fast food, often in the drivethru. You don’t get tips there, but having teenage girls serve you food brings out the worst in men. My sister and I frequently worked the drive thru together, and it was not unusual to have men come through with their dicks sticking out, or having no pants on at all. Typically they would fondle it while watching you. My sister decided she’d had enough. She handed a drink out through the window, slightly squeezing the cup so the lid came off and liquid sloshed out (not coffee; a cold drink).
We were fortunate. The manager on duty was probably the only manager that would see that as an appropriate reaction on my sister’s part. He was sick of it, too. He didn’t like his crew abused.
They’ve covered their backs by including Juno Dawson in the series.
Oh, so they don’t mean a woman’s body after all. How cute.
iknklast, I’m so sorry to hear that. That sounds so absolutely awful.
@3: Juno Dawson writes:
WTF does that mean? Isn’t it basically saying “Haha, I don’t have to live in the body that I was born in, lol. Sux to be you, women, who have to suffer this abuse just because of your body. I, on the other hand, can do anything I want with my body, and not suffer any negative consequences!” Trans privilege, amirite? Which is, of course, only a subset of male privilege — it doesn’t apply to trans-identified women.
iknklast @ #2:
“Call that a dick.? Good for a laugh I suppose, but by the look of it, I’d say not much else.”
A bit of reverse psychology can work wonders. I read somewhere of a nightclub (in NYC?) where the doorman was advised to refuse entry to the odd customer selected on a random basis on the grounds that “by the look of you, I’d say our club is way above your league.” So a dispute would start and a crowd would gather round on the basis of that and the rejected customer would swiftly change category from ‘undecided’ to ‘demanding to be let in’ and quoting the US Constitution and anything else handy in his or her own support.
Another bloke I knew ran a hardware store, and got sick and tired of one customer who was in the habit of picking some article he wanted to buy, and then trying to beat the price down on the basis of some alleged fault he had found in it. Finally, the proprietor had had enough, and told the bloke to take his custom elsewhere. So the customer switched tack and agreed to pay the listed price, wherepon the proprietor said “piss off. It’s not for sale to you; not for double the money. You don’t want me to make a living. So once again, piss off.”
Made his day.
Omar @7:
Men can (mostly) get away with those kinds of responses. Women (mostly) can’t. Usually for women, regardless of their response, the abuse continues.
Karen: Noted.