Guest post: How to bonsai a personality

Originally a comment by Bruce Gorton on Lipstick=target of death threats.

I despise these platitudes.

“I can predict the future, and you’re going to be okay.”

Unless you’re not, in which case you’ll be dead and unable to point out how full of crap I was.

“Maybe all you need to know is you are great, just as you are now!”

Maybe all you need to know is that you are not great, just as you are now. Maybe, you kind of suck and need to take some time to make the effort to not suck. Maybe you need to consider that there is a whole world out there full of things you don’t know or understand, and rather than jacking off to your own reflection, you should go out there and have some life changing experiences.

This whole idea of “You are great, just as you are now” is if anything incredibly toxic, because most of us fall into that second camp of people who are not particularly great, we’ve got to put some work in, and honestly? Even the people who are great? They don’t stay that way by resting on their laurels.

Besides, being great as you are now would be profoundly depressing. It is like saying it all gets worse from here on out.

“The way you express yourself: it’s up to you. It’s not up to anybody else.”

No. Everybody else does in fact get a say in how you express yourself, because if you say “Fsaad wekhrfshf kashdkdash weabsz” not a lot of people are going to understand you.

“But their years of being a vocal advocate for self-love…”

Self love, is, to put it bluntly, narcissism. This is an issue that goes beyond the trans movement – it is how you end up with people like Donald Trump. Some self criticism is healthy, heck having some shame isn’t a bad thing. Sure, have some self-respect, don’t be a doormat, but keep in mind that those negative feelings? They’re as important as the positive ones.

This whole article sounds like how to bonsai a personality – a poisoned sweetness that presents itself as support but really just stunts the audience’s growth.

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