Newsthump (i.e. satirical):
McDonald’s has been praised by the liberal media for giving work experience to a convicted felon who is currently looking for a new job.
Florida resident Donald Trump, 78, has a string of felony convictions that will quite rightly prevent him from seeking gainful employment in a number of businesses and organisations, but McDonald’s said it was willing to offer a helping hand to anyone trying to get back into work.
McDonald’s spokesperson Chuck Williams told us, “I understand that this man lost his job almost four years ago now, and that this job loss led to some poor life decisions that have left him with a significant criminal record – but for one morning, we were willing to look past the convicted felon to the man himself.”
Mind you, the criminal record goes back way before the job loss, although the crimes were never prosecuted.
Williams was asked if, based on his performance during his work experience, he would consider giving Trump a full-time job. He told reporters, “A job? Like on salary? Christ no! He’s got 34 felony convictions, you’d have to be a lunatic to hire him full-time for any sort of real job.”
Harsh but fair.
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5 responses to “Florida resident has string of felony convictions”
About that McDonald’s:
Apparently Trump fit right in.
“Would you like some antibiotics with your fries?”
The video of Trump trying to work the fryolator is unintentionally hilarious–he can’t manage to hook up the basket.
All of this stems from a right-wing meme that claims that Vice President Harris never worked at McDonald’s because (gasp!) she hasn’t released her work records! Because of course we all keep all the documentation from all the summer jobs we’ve had over the years. I mean, who doesn’t take boxes of documents with them when they leave a job?
Anyway, it seems that McDonald’s isn’t happy about being used as a political prop. Bad enough that it incorporates his name.
I worked for McDonald’s when I was in college; I couldn’t prove it.
It’s sort of ironic that they are talking about her not releasing her work records to prove she worked at McDonald’s many years ago, when he was never willing to release his tax returns. He expects things of others (long form birth certificate?) while keeping his own documents private.
So not only is the law for other people, so are health and safety regulations.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
In fairness he probably has a gallon dispenser of hand sanitizer in his car and views their washroom as unsanitary (probably somewhat true). Soap and water is objectively better, but he’s neither rational nor inclined to follow rules (or understand what they’re for).