Stay away from Here
Here NI is “a place for lesbian and bisexual women” in Belfast. Its most recent Facebook post, six hours ago:
One, it carefully omits “sex” from the “regardless of” bit. Two, the image is of a woman brandishing her fist at a cringing shaking man while shouting at him.
To repeat: it calls itself “a place for lesbian and bisexual women.”
This really reminds me of those people who contend that the sexual abuse of women by men isn’t actually an issue, because “men get abused just as much, they just don’t complain about it all the time.”
Maybe Irish. women are demons and Irish men are timid, shrinking wallflowers? Tigger can weigh in I guess. I mean, I’ve heard of physically abusive women, and certainly verbally so, but shit, it’s hard to take portrayals like this seriously given the well established pattern of abuse in societies worldwide.
If Here NI is supposed to be “a place for lesbian and bisexual women”, surely what they’re going for in that picture is an angry long-haired femme woman abusing a short-haired butch woman?
Whilst the number of men physically and/or emotionally abused by women is small, it isn’t non-existent; but, surely, that’s a matter for charities aimed at the welfare of men, not women?
Having said that, the figure on the right is drawn rather ambiguously; could be a small man with an unusually female jawline, a teenage boy, or another woman with any breast bulge hidden by the folded arms or simply not drawn in for some reason. It’s hard to tell, but I don’t think that I have seen that style of fringe on men since the nineties, and I’ve never seen a man with a hair clip. It’s just as true that women in same-sex relationships aren’t as likely to abuse their other half, but it’s not unknown.
I’ve met a few victims of female violence in my time. Being a taxi driver for ten years, and (unrelated) spending more time than I care to recall in A&E departments in different countries, I probably encountered more than the average person would; but, compared to the victims of male violence, the numbers were small.
In my experience, Irish men are no more likely than others as a demographic to be shrinking violets, but the vast majority of men I’ve met have been decent, non-abusive, peaceful people (yes, even in that alleged bastion of macho culture, Australia), as have the vast majority of women.
TBH, the individual in the white shirt looks like a lesbian to me, not a man. I think the intent of the drawing was to depict abuse in a lesbian relationship, and it didn’t come across to everybody.
If you run an organisation for lesbians, it’s reasonable to depict an abusive lesbian relationship, even if that’s not the most common form of domestic violence. Like, if you ran a men’s health clinic, you might put up a poster about the signs of male breast cancer.