Guest post: It’s not as if there is a clear line of demarcation

Originally a comment by maddog on Anyone with any sense.

If non-macho men use men’s toilets, they will be subjected to humiliation, abuse, and violence.

It’s always been that way. Smaller boys/men, geeks, effeminate guys, brainiacs, gay men, goths, hippies — all of these and others, who don’t perform macho masculinity, have been humiliated, abused, and violently assaulted. Yet, in no other case did society decide that protecting vulnerable men should be achieved by shoving the men into the women’s room.

It’s exactly the same problem:

men beat up other men. In every other instance, the men have had to sort things out themselves. There’s no earthly reason why this case should be any different. It’s not women’s problem.

It’s not as if there is a clear line of demarcation between the victims of men’s abuse, and the men who abuse others. There are plenty of men who have experienced both sides. Just because a man has been a victim of male abuse doesn’t mean he is not an abuser himself. Male victims of male abuse are not cleansed of all capacity to be abusers themselves. They’re not automatically “safe” non-abusive men.

Societies are often organized by hierarchies: A is bigger, and beats up B; B in turn bullies C and D, and so on. The same could apply here. If trans women are targets of alpha-male abuse, trans women could plausibly be expected to bully weaker people in the hierarchy. Who are men always superior to? Why, women, of course. What makes anyone think that the same dynamic won’t play out between the men (trans women) and the women?

But, is OJ’s premise even true? Is the danger for trans women in men’s spaces really that inevitable? One result of MSM’s slavish devotion to T, that a lot more people know about trans women than they did 10 years ago. T’s insistence on being the center of attention — all T, all the time — means that people are aware of what trans women look like, in all their twisted-face, angry, shouty glory. And they’ve seen Harry Styles in a glossy mag photo shoot in a dress. So men should be perfectly prepared for trans women in the men’s room.

I don’t know if anybody has the statistics on how often trans women get attacked in men’s bathrooms. I’d like to see some data before I take it as an article of faith that trans identified men are at substantially greater risk of male violence than other men.

The TRAs scream at women to just “live and let live!” Try screaming at the men instead. That’s who need to learn that skill: the men. Let them “live and let live” with each other.

And, in the last few decades, I think a lot of men have learned a thing or two about coexisting with people who are different from themselves. Maybe it’s not as automatically scary as the TIMs assume.

In any case, men have a much better chance of defending themselves against other men than women do of protecting themselves against men. If the trans women are really afraid, maybe they should take the steps commonly recommended to women:

-take self-defense classes

-practice situational awareness: don’t walk around with your earbuds in, maybe check the men’s room to make sure it’s empty before you go in

-don’t dress provocatively; maybe pornified drag is not your best look for going out in public

-carry pepper spray, or carry your keys between your fingers

-if you’re really scared, there is strength in numbers; get another man to go in with you

– if they are really scared, just reassure them that you are indeed a trans woman, and that you are where you belong.

Comments

8 responses to “Guest post: It’s not as if there is a clear line of demarcation”

  1. Your Name's not Bruce? Avatar
    Your Name’s not Bruce?

    If the trans women are really afraid, maybe they should take the steps commonly recommended to women:

    Yeah, hear those crickets belting out the Double Standard Chorus. What’s sauce for the goose is BLATANTLY TRANSPHOBIC for the gander. HOW DARE YOU!

  2. Southwest88 Avatar

    Gosh, I have been around men (relatives and friends) all my life and this is the first I am hearing that men’s restrooms are basically The Thunderdome with urinals. All the times I have been out in public and never saw cops or emergency personnel responding to the carnage taking place in men’s restrooms. How did I miss it all? Guess the first rule about fight club in the men’s restroom is never tell anybody about fight club in the men’s restroom?

    Oh, maybe the maddog comment is pointing out how the trans cult manufactures lies and hysteria like a hutch of rabbits manufactures little round pellets. And also pointing out that maybe women should not be the dumping ground for the losers of whatever male nonsense may or may not be going on.

    Excellent comment, maddog.

  3. twiliter Avatar

    Pesrsonally, I’ve used men’s rooms all my life from highway rest areas to massive stadium venues, etc. without paying much attention to anyone else in there, other than to make sure I don’t pee on their shoes. Maybe back in grade school it was potentially confrontational, but not really as I recall. There’s the occasional weirdo of course, like the guys who post pictures of themselves in women’s rooms, in drag, trying to make some kind of trans point or other.

  4. Mike Avatar

    I’m male and retired. I have never seen any violence in men’s restrooms. I assume that if a trans person is assaulted in a men’s restroom we would hear about it, so I am skeptical of the danger.

  5. Papito Avatar

    Like the “trans genocide” stats, we would likely see that transwomen have assaulted more people in toilets than have been assaulted in them.

    The universal straight etiquette in men’s toilets is not to look at, or talk to, other men. If other men are bizarrely dressed, then you extra don’t look at them.

    The assertion of transwomen’s danger in men’s restrooms is not only counterfactual but redolent of fantasy and fetish. Trans-identifying men are choosing the role of sexual object as a sexual fetish. They dress like low-rent prostitutes because that’s their fantasy, and they talk about the danger of being assaulted in men’s restrooms because that idea gets them off. And then they get off even more by going into women’s restrooms and replicating their imaginary danger.

    It’s a tangled web of perversion, and the humdrum reality of averted eyes in quiet men’s restrooms stands no chance against the fantasy.

  6. twiliter Avatar

    So are “transwomen” completely in character 100% of the time? Even in those few moments of waking up from a long sleep, before doing all the dress up/makeup routine, or if they have some male thing they need to do such as pee standing up? Don’t they get a break? It must be exhausting playing a female role constantly (however mockingly and offensive to women). Maybe they should take it easier on themselves and just use the male toilets, it seems like most of us “cis” guys probably wouldn’t give a rat.

  7. Omar Avatar

    I trained in a very powerful Japanese martial art (Aikido) for 27 years, but was forced to stop dojo training due to balance problems associated with a disorder of my central nervous system called hydrocephalus (which I for a joke prefer to call ‘hydrosyphilis.’) I believe it used to be known as ‘water on the brain.’

    The first Buddhist monks went from Korea to Japan in 538 or 552 CE. Some time later, Japanese samurai warriors became their acolytes or disciples, at first out of curiosity. But it soon became clear that these samurai were winning all the duels, which reinforced the popularity of the local Zen variant of Buddhism, in which meditation involving ’emptying the mind’ was a central feature and practice.

    A warrior engaging another in a duel had to be totally relaxed, and indifferent to the outcome, in order to have the best chance of winning; even though the samurai duels routinely resulted in the death of one of the participants. (One such duel was brilliantly portrayed in Akira Kurosawa’s film, Seven Samurai. )

    So these days, wherever I can, I adopt the female approach to urination. Rather than working to keep my balance while standing at some public urinal, or in my dunny at home, I sit down on the porcelain, and go into a short episode of Zen meditation, and just let it all go.

    Wonderful, I believe, for my general health. For their own, the male transwhatyoumaycallems do not need a females-only facility.

  8. Freemage Avatar

    Funny thing. I currently work retail, and I’ve noticed that, by closing time, it’s not uncommon for at least one of the stalls in the men’s room to have a long strand of TP running along the joint of the door, with the obvious purpose of preventing peeping Toms.

    That obviously ‘cis’ men are worried about being spied upon by other ‘cis’ men makes it clear just how fucking stupid it is to allow males into the women’s toilets.

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