More on healthy food horror

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September 15, 2026

Now the Government has a different solution in England to help children maintain a healthy diet: don’t give them a choice. New standards announced this week will further restrict fried, battered or breadcrumb-coated food; limit consumption of cakes and biscuits; apply restrictions to packed lunches; and demand high-protein meals, resulting in endless lentils and chickpeas, which are historically not English in the slightest.

Wtf? So what? Is there some rule or norm that says children can eat only food that is historically [relevant nationality here]? Lentils and chickpeas aka garbanzo beans are not so weird or gross that they can be eaten only by citizens of Legumeolandia. They’re a tad boring if cooked boringly, but then so are the everlasting fried potato sticks. With any luck the schools will serve the lentils in delicious curries and tomato sauces and similar.

Comments

18 responses to “More on healthy food horror”

Sumi

Sep 15, 2026 11:40 AM

“… which are historically not English in the slightest.” Neither are curries. But fish-and-chip shops now sell curries and kebabs just to get young people through the door.
Ian Hargreaves

Sep 15, 2026 11:46 AM

Why is the voice of Cat Stevens singing “my lady D’Arbanville” going round my head? Must be the chickpeas
Jim Baerg

Sep 15, 2026 11:56 AM

I would hope there are non-curry options. I would expect at least some of the students to share my intense dislike of spicy-hot.
NinetyEight

Sep 15, 2026 11:59 AM

In my experience of institutional food in the USA ‘delicious’ is not to be expected. Our college offerings, for one example, undoubtedly ticked all the nutritional boxes but were entirely flavorless. We tended to rely on the salad bar and self-serve ice cream. Those were the two things that could not be made worse. And we looked forward to times we could get fast food burgers and greasy pizza. Any lentils, were they served, would be stodgy, unappetizing, and not resembling any Indian dish.

Perhaps the UK institutions can do better.
Piglet

Sep 15, 2026 11:59 AM

Lentils and chickpeas are just legumes that grow in warm climates. We’ve been eating cold-climate legumes in the UK since forever, because medieval peasants sure as hell were not able to afford meat every day. (This is why English has Germanic names for animals and Romance names for their respective meats.) Personally I think “fried, battered or breadcrumb-coated food” is pretty disgusting but I’m in a minority.
Piglet

Sep 15, 2026 12:00 PM

Jim Baerg: most Indian food isn’t spicy-hot, especially when it’s for kids.
What a Maroon

Sep 15, 2026 12:47 PM

As long as there are options for kids with allergies to legumes.
iknklast

Sep 15, 2026 12:50 PM

As long as there are options for kids with allergies to legumes.

I imagine this is just a shorthand for healthy foods; I don’t imagine anyone would expect to serve the kids anything but lentils and chickpeas! There are so many healthy (and tasty) dishes out there, it would be silly to have no options.
Artymorty

Sep 15, 2026 1:05 PM

Shifting school cafeteria meals towards healthier ingredients is perfectly decent in principle. It’s possible there could be problems if the policy change isn’t implemented properly: say, anodyne, utilitiarian recipes that fulfill the nutrient requirements but leave the tastebuds unmoved. That could end up teaching kids to associate healthy food with bad food, possibily undermining their health in the long term. But that’s not a guaranteed outcome; it’s just one possible negative outcome if the policy isn’t implemented well.

There is, however, a detail of the new policy that I don’t agree with, even in principle: the personal lunchbox inspection part. I think that’s a bridge too far. If they’re bringing their own food to eat on their own lunch break, that’s their own food on their own time. And if they’re leaving the campus to eat food, they should be free to eat whatever they want on their time.

I guess it’s the diffence between a policy that “nudges” and one that “forces”. Here, look at the healthy eating options we’re making easily available to you is a very good nudge. Stop and let us search your backpack for contraband food is a forceful push, and I think it’s the wrong tool for this case.

I can sort-of see a policy of discouraging brought-in food, particularly for very-young children for whom free lunch is already universally provided by UK schools. But even strong discouragement begins to look less reasonable as kids get older and many start having to pay for lunch.

It’s been reported that some parents are “bribing” their kids with candy bars in their lunch boxes, and that’s not good, but the solution to that specific problem might be simply stronger social messaging to discourage the problem, and maybe as a final resort, not allowing candy bars — just candy bars — to be consumed on campus.

There’s talk in some parts of banning lunch boxes altogether — forcing kids to eat only what the schools give them during the day — because the schools “can’t police” what the kids are being given to eat by their parents.

Well, no, they can’t. I’m sympathetic to the schools to some degree, but I’m also wary of this kind of logic: it’s not the government’s job to strictly police the parent-child relationship in that way. That there is the kind of overreach that rankles, and it bleeds into similar school policies around schools keeping parents out of decisions about kids’ pronouns, for example.

It’s framed as protecting kids — what could possibly go into an unsanctioned private lunchbox but foul candy and junk — in the same way that the pronoun argument says how could a parent possibly have anything but bad motives to override a child’s desired pronoun uses. It’s possible in both cases the parent’s have good or bad motives, but it’s outside the purview of the schools to cut the parents out of the decision altogether.

The policy appears to be vague in how brought-lunch inspection should be implemented. As is typical with British written policy, it’s mostly “guidances” and “recommendations” with few strict orders. That’s a small relief, because I can imagine there will be many cases where the teachers and school administrators want the room to give certain kids in certain circumstances some flexibility. Say, a kid who’s ineligible for free lunch, can’t afford the cafeteria food, whose home-life is too disorganized for anything more than throwing some leftover frozen pizza into a bag to eat at lunch. We all know he’s not getting an ideal lunch, and surely he’s already being reminded of that by the healthy-eating posters plastered all over the school, but seizing his pizza slice at the school gate probably won’t make him suddenly bloom into a chickpea-loving vegetarian who eats two apples a day and keeps close tabs on his calorie and macro intake.

(That kid sounds not entirely unlike a young me!)
What a Maroon

Sep 15, 2026 2:16 PM

I imagine this is just a shorthand for healthy foods; I don’t imagine anyone would expect to serve the kids anything but lentils and chickpeas! There are so many healthy (and tasty) dishes out there, it would be silly to have no options.

No doubt you’re right; I’m just sensitive on this topic.
JScarry

Sep 15, 2026 3:15 PM

My wife went to grad school in the Palouse—the lentil capital of the US. We have them weekly.

Yesterday I had a lentil loaf sandwich; like meatloaf but without the meat.

There is a container of lentils, carrots, and onion soup in the refrigerator.

Falafel is just ground chickpeas and spices.

We often have crushed chickpeas and mayo sandwiches; like tuna salad.

Crushed chickpeas or falafel are great in spaghetti sauce.

I’m not a fan but roasted chickpeas are an interesting snack.

It’s not hard to make good tasting food with legumes. Getting kids to eat something they aren’t familiar with might be harder.
Ophelia Benson

Sep 15, 2026 4:45 PM

I like lentils too, plus they cook more quickly than beans, and you don’t need to soak them.
Freemage

Sep 15, 2026 6:24 PM

Hell, I used to regularly cook a chili recipe that used chickpeas and chicken (instead of red beans and beef). Made for a nice change of pace.

I’ve also done some homemade hummus, though I still need more practice getting the lemon ratio correct.
Ophelia Benson

Sep 15, 2026 6:37 PM

The more lemon the better, in my view (or rather taste).
Artymorty

Sep 15, 2026 8:58 PM

I”m fairly new to the world of chickpeas; my local food bank gave me some bags of dried ones and some cans of… not-dried ones? They’re indeed great — both kinds! Plenty versatile, too. (Though I don’t love what they tend to do to my digestive system, if I’m being completely honest.)

I’m still on the fence about lentils, though. The Hare Krishnas I knew as a teen, who gave out free vegetarian meals every Sunday, they had FANTASTIC lentil dishes. But I suspect salt, ghee, and spices galore were pivotal to their supreme delectability. I’ve also been to vegan hipster potlucks with lentil stews that tasted like wet cardboard — almost cruelly tasteless: so bad, only a virtue signaller could profess to love them.

(What is it about virtue signaller types and self-flagellation? It’s like the asceticism of the bathrooms I mentioned the other day…)

So I haven’t yet developed the lentil love like I have for its delicious Garbanzo cousin.

Still, I maintain much optimism about any program intended to feed healthier food to children and adolescents.

(Qualms about possible overzealous lunchbox policing aside…)
twiliter

Sep 16, 2026 5:25 AM

I think if kids become habituated to eat unhealthy foods that it can become a lifelong trajectory, and maybe does in many cases. I didn’t think much about it until I was in my 30s, but I was fed a balanced diet myself as a kid, and was a brown bagger during my school years. I rarely ate school food, practically never, as my folks had to send me with money to buy it. Later in life I just ate whatever tasted good, which wasn’t healthy either, and a dangerous proposition in today’s world with all the unhealthy ultraprocessed, and hyperpalatable choices. I hear it’s a billion dollar industry — engineering junk food. Why not set kids on a healthier path? If food is being offered at school, why would they offer anything unhealthy, or possibly dangerous to their future health? It starts to appear criminal. If you’re going to bear the responsibility of feeding these kids, then take responsibility already.

I remember when my daughter was in high school, the same one I went to, there were actually vending machines on campus, with sodas, candy, and other junk. There was nothing healthy coming out of those. Eventually, after some uproar from many parents (myself included), the machines were removed. I don’t know if the school cafeteria offered any alternatives in the way of healthy nutrition, but on the rare occasion that I did buy my lunch there, I opted for the most tasty things they had, while not giving the nutritional value much thought. And if kids aren’t going to give much thought to their food choices, at least provide the most healthy and nutritious choices possible.

I can’t see that being a bad thing.
iknklast

Sep 16, 2026 9:47 AM

twiliter, that’s my take, too. I was not fed a balanced diet, but I got one at school on the rare occasions my mother had spare dollars…ones she was willing to hand out for lunch. I wouldn’t say it was healthy – chicken fried steak drowning in oceans of sausage gravy – but at least it wasn’t junk food. I got almost no junk food growing up; it cost too much.

I was fortunate that my dad had a garden; he set aside a portion of the farm for personal food. In the summer, we had tons of fresh, tasty vegetables and I learned to love them. I fed them to my son all through his childhood. He loves them. I think habituation is a lot of it. Not all, because my husband was fed vegetables, and he hates them. (Though I will say, his dad tended to cook them until they were mushy.)

We got vending machines in my school when I was in middle school. I didn’t use them, because I didn’t get an allowance and didn’t have spending money, but a lot of people did. They remained through my high school, and the school added a fast-food hamburger counter in the lunch room. It cost a little more than the actual cafeteria lunch, but I went to a school where wealthy kids considered themselves impoverished because someone else at the school was richer than they were. The hamburger counter was well utilized.

Kids who have never eaten brussels sprouts are not likely to pick them up as a choice. Kids who have eaten brussels sprouts that are overdone and mushy probably won’t like them either. Palate is at least partially trained.
twiliter

Sep 16, 2026 10:55 AM

For sure Ikn, my dad always had a small garden, and fed us a veg-heavy diet, or at least a very balanced one (my mom worked, so he cooked), and I took his example with my own kid. I enjoy growing veggies on a small scale too. I think you’re exactly right about palate, as I noticed when I adjusted to a more healthy diet a few decades ago. Now It’s difficult for me to eat a lot of things, too sweet, too salty, too greasy, blah blah. I’m not much fun at restaurants. :)